Tales of the Wanderer Book 3: Nerima Wandering
by Star Ranger
Summary: The Wanderer finds himself teaching at Furinkan High... AkA Trouble Central! And the only way out is to solve that whole Fiancee problem of Ranma's? It's Mission Improbable!
1. Exposition in DEVNULL

Tales of the Wanderer: Book Three: Chapter 0: 'Exposition in /Dev/Null'  
  
Don't let Muck fool you. A portal between Fica of any kind is nothing to be taken lightly. Aside from the power requirements, which are quite severe, there is a little matter of cross contamination to worry about. You know, when something that's not native to one Fica gets transported along with you. Not so much air or microbes-- those are inevitable after all-- but also harmless 99.999% of the time. It's the macro objects that you normally worry about. Things like people, cars. or the main gun of a tank. I'd experienced my first and hopefully only panic attack over that incident. However, it looked like the gods of chance had smiled on us, and instead of also passing the wrong way through the portal, that tank barrel just went poof. The best defense against that sort of occurrence is to keep the portal open a no longer than necessary.  
  
So, when this jump suddenly went weird, I was rather concerned. Quite simply put, the impossible. err, the incredibly improbable happened. We seemed to be frozen in mid-jump-- a possibility who's chances of natural occurrence was .1e-666. One time in a number so huge there wasn't a word for it, only a symbol. A chance so small that it screamed 'outside intervention'. Normally, once I've managed to wedge open a portal between dimensions, Muck and I experience a short flash of near blinding light and then we're through. But we seemed to be hanging here, in the middle of a white nothingness, something that. sorry; I was getting into a recursion loop there. With, as I saw it, both ends of the portal still wide open; I've already explained why that would be a bad thing.  
  
I began to notice other anomalies. Being an electron-based intelligence instead of a chemical one, I've lived my whole life to an internal clock; while not consciously aware of them, they've always been there, like a heartbeat to a human. Only now my 'heart' had stopped. Which means I should have stopped. Still, I experienced on. and I'll never be able to say for how long. Maybe it was only a nano-second; maybe it was centuries. Like a Human, one of the ways I notice time, and hence my internal clock cycles, is by the changes in values my various senses report back to me. Like you, I interpret them as sight, sound, and feel. This was like I'd been connected to a giant stasis loop that keeps feeding me the same set of 'sense' information every time I polled them. until that changed.  
  
Someone appeared in my passenger seat; the fact that one sensor input alone was changing compared to the rest only confused me yet re-assured me at the same time. My program. soul. whatever you desire to call it was continuing to function. It was the rest of the world that had stopped; like someone had pressed a universal 'pause' button that affected everyone but me. Well, my consciousness and the John de Lancie look alike who'd just appeared in my front passenger seat.  
  
"Universal pause function? A quaint, but amazingly accurate symbol, I suppose."  
  
A telepathic John de Lancie.  
  
"Hrrmph."  
  
With an attitude.  
  
"I do happen to have a name, you know. You'll remember it yourself in a moment or two but I don't feel like waiting. I am Q."  
  
Spiffy. Juuuust spiffy. The embodiment of phenomenal cosmic power and the temperament of a bored ten year old. No possible good can come of this. I wonder.  
  
"My quest? To recover the Holy Grail." He paused, then continued, "European or African?"  
  
I really should have seen that coming. Of COURSE an omnipotent being would know one of Monty Python's best gags. Now, if he'd only let me get a word in edge.  
  
"Because you find it irritating. Almost as irritating as I find the voice they programmed into you. Or, maybe I feel silicon should be programmed and not heard."  
  
Whimper.  
  
"Finally, someone who shows me the respect I deserve. Not at all like Jean-Luc."  
  
Gee, I wonder why. Of course Q lets that pass; thinking about that fact is probably too damaging to his.  
  
"You're a find one to think. You were just about to insult someone advanced enough to qualify as a god. Well, it really isn't your fault, I guess. Its your author's."  
  
Bwaaa?  
  
"You, and he," Q indicated Muck, "Aren't human. You're Avatar."  
  
Authors? Avatar? One of the things I've done was pick up as much local knowledge as possible in each of our stops. At this point, I'd committed not one but two versions of Webster's on backup storage, but their definitions certainly didn't seem to match Q's inflection. It seemed more like he was using it as a proper noun rather than a description.  
  
"You're quite correct. And much more perceptive than even Heinlein was when he discovered the truth, even though he didn't know it."  
  
Q sniffed, and if he were human, I would have thought him 'miffed'. I briefly considered just ignoring him till he went away at this point, but what little I knew about him came from downloaded Star Trek scripts and the like. It seemed rather unlikely, and the odds of these people being right were.  
  
"100%. They are Authors, *THE* creative force which all others must abide."  
  
WARNING! SANITY.SYS corrupted or invalid. (A)bort/(R)etry/(F)reak out?  
  
"Not at all. It is simply not possible to be Q and not be sane. Sadly, the same cannot be said for Authors. Nor for their Avatars."  
  
He just sat and smirked as I finally started pulling these threads together.  
  
"That's right. You, and he, are just tools, a creation of the highest power in the cosmos. Just thought you'd like to know. Not that it really matters, since you won't remember any of this once I've gone."  
  
And, with that, he vanished in a flash, and time seemed to un-stick itself as well-- and we finished shooting through to yet another world. He was wrong, though. I remembered everything about our little 'encounter'. Makes one wonder just what else he was wrong about. 


	2. Of Pinapples and Parasols

Ranma ½ and Maison Ikkoku are both property of Rumiko Takahashi, and several publishing companies as well.  
  
Books 1 and 2 can be found at: Home.talkcity.com/TheSanitarium/da_muck/ Sofaspud.Org, and Fanfiction.net  
  
Comments and criticism welcome, E-mail me at starrngr@aol.com; Pointless flames will be ignored.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Tales of the Wanderer: Book Three: "Nerima Wandering" Chapter 1: "Of Pineapples and Parasols"  
  
Muck and FRED emerged from the white disk of the portal, which collapsed behind them in a fraction of a second, and relaxed. FRED had done a superb job this time, as they found themselves on a forested back road with no traffic. This allowed Muck to take over, slowing to a stop while FRED concentrated on the other sensor readings that would allow Muck to determine if this stop was finally the right one. Or would have, if that kid hadn't bolted out of the trees right in front of them.  
  
Ryouga Hibiki was, as usual, lost. He'd cut through a grove of trees, intending to cut off one Ranma Satome just before the latter reached the grounds of Furinkan High. However, even he knew something was wrong when it took over a day, which meant that once again he was totally lost. And that it was Ranma's fault. A flash of light nearby and ahead of him gave him some hope, though. That might have been sunlight off of a window, which would mean a street, and getting out of these trees. Dashing forward, the trees parted and there was the road. and a very large, very black car bearing down on him!  
  
Ryouga, meet FRED. Oh, I see you two have already met. By accident. The lost boy went flying; slamming into a tree as Muck brought the now skidding FRED to a complete stop. Cursing wildly in three languages, two of which didn't even exist in this particular Fica, Muck ran to where Ryouga had come to rest, first aid kit in hand. He'd slammed on the brakes as soon as he'd seen the kid, sure, but they'd still been moving a good 40 mph when he'd hit the kid! That meant broken bones, probable internal injuries, and a whole lot of official attention without a cover identity. He knelt beside the still figure, which groaned once before Muck's head exploded in pain.  
  
Ryouga sat up, trying to get his bearings. Muck; meet Ryouga. forehead to forehead. The force of the impact sent Muck toppling backwards to land on his rump. Aspirin, anyone?  
  
"You ok, Kid?" Muck growled as he rubbed the point of impact.  
  
Ryouga just looked at this new arrival in confusion. Either he had ran into a gajin tourist or he'd managed to make his way all the way to America, even though he was certain that he hadn't crossed any major bodies of water. Either way, this could only be Ranma's fault, and he so informed the world at large.  
  
Muck sighed as this sunk in, and switched to Japanese. "Are you Ok, kid?"  
  
Ryouga brought himself to his feet at that and bowed. "I am most sorry, honored sir. I should have been more careful." He still didn't have a clue as to where he was; the fact that this gajin spoke Japanese meant things were not as bad as it seemed a moment ago. "I was lost, and thought this was the way out."  
  
"You're not hurt? You hit pretty hard."  
  
"Of course not. It was nothing compared to my training for the Breaking Point Technique."  
  
Muck gave the youngster a stern look, but shrugged. "If you say so, kid. That's what your doing up here in the mountains then? More training?"  
  
"Then this isn't Nerima?" Ryouga asked with a sigh.  
  
Muck pulled what appeared to be a phone from his pocket and pushed a couple of buttons. "Nerima, as in a ward of Tokyo, kid?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Not unless it's suddenly moved 150 kilometers. According to my GPS here, we're on the North-eastern slopes of Mt. Fuji."  
  
"Thank you. I must be going, then."  
  
"Slow down, kid. That's west, not east. Tell you what, why don't you let me give you a ride. It'll save you some walking, and allow me to make amends for running into you."  
  
Ryouga blushed, but accepted the offer, and helped Muck to his feet before walking over to the large black vehicle. He started to walk around it to get in when Muck stopped him.  
  
"Got a driver's license, kid?"  
  
"No, Sir."  
  
"Then you might wanna get in on this side. FRED here is American drive."  
  
"Oh." Ryouga blushed, but climbed in the indicated door as Muck crossed around to the side with the controls. Ryouga shrugged off his pack and hefted it into the rear seat, provoking a groan from the seat springs and a look from Muck. He shrugged, then turned his attention to the car itself. From the outside, it had looked rather remarkable; he'd only seen an example of one once on the TV, on a show about the new vehicle that had replaced the US Army's venerable Jeep. Inside, it was completely different, with the space behind both seats filled with storage boxes, and an initially featureless black panel for a dashboard that sprang to life once Muck turned the key. The center console between them was a mass of buttons, which lit up once the car was on.  
  
"FRED here is one of a kind," Muck supplied, seeing what Ryouga examining the dash. "Body by GM, controls by MT."  
  
"MT?"  
  
"Micheal Thunders. That's me, by the way. Nice to meet you."  
  
"Oh. Ryouga Hibiki, Thunders-sama."  
  
Muck sighed, as if expecting it, then shook his head slightly before moving out. "Nice to meet you, Hibiki-san."  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
The life of a martial artist is filled with danger. The life of a WANDERING martial artist is filled with even more. Add in the worst sense of direction ever, and a curse that turns you into a pig-- Well, I'm certain that you get the idea that Ryouga Hibiki was no stranger to danger. None of that, however, prepared him for the 90 minutes of sheer terror he felt riding with Micheal Thunders. The first twenty or so weren't too bad, as they made their way down the slopes of MT. Fuji; nor was it once they found the expressway. It was the period where they were on little two-lane roads, with traffic whizzing by in the opposite direction that had set Ryouga's hair on end. He knew he was incredibly strong, and tough; the fact that he could fight Ranma to a standstill proved that. Thunders-sama was actually a very good driver, able to handle his extremely large American vehicle safely even though he sat on what was normally the passenger side. Somehow, though, it wasn't enough to reassure him when a ten-ton truck thundered past mere inches away.  
  
Because of this, both human passengers breathed a mental sigh of relief as Thunders-sama (Call me 'Muck', please,) as Highway 8 merged with the streets of the Nerima ward of Tokyo. Muck was about to ask Ryouga for directions, even though he KNEW what was going to happen, when the point was solved for him. He slammed on the brakes as a black haired martial artist in red and black bounded across the street in front of him. Chasing Ranma Satome were all the usual suspects; in order, Akane, still in her school jumper, Shampoo, Ukyou, Kodachi Kuno, Mouse, and Tatawaki Kuno. Ryouga, seeing this, instantly leapt from the car and joined the tail end of the chase, bellowing at the top of his lungs about Ranma making Akane chase him.  
  
No sooner than the last of the procession had disappeared from view, final proof that this was all too common here manifested itself as traffic started moving again as if this had been nothing more than a simple red light! Muck was a second late moving with the traffic because he was still in shock at seeing the Nerima wrecking crew live and in person, so to speak; this prompted a blare of angry horns behind him urging him to move along. Instead, Muck turned into the driveway of a convenient McDonalds and parked, then started bouncing his head off the steering wheel.  
  
"Um, Muck?"  
  
"No need, FRED. I know exactly where we are. Smack dab in the middle of the Ranmaverse, and almost on top of ground zero at that. How soon can we blow this popsicle stand?"  
  
"That was what I was about to tell you. This fica is still in a state of flux; I can't get solid readings to plot a new jump until it settles."  
  
"Oh joy. We need to find someplace to hole up, then. Any ideas about what's causing it and how long for things to settle?"  
  
"Actually, I believe I know what's causing the flux. How long? I dunno. How good are you at matchmaking?"  
  
"WHAT?!?!? What does that have to do with anything?"  
  
"I got a good read on that little parade just now. They're definitely the cause of the flux. Add in what I know from those manga you scanned in last Fica, and I'm certain that the only way to get this fica to settle enough for us to get out of here is for Ranma to finally settle this whole marriage thing once and for all."  
  
"No. Not only no, but bleep no. There is no way that I'm getting involved in that mess. What do you think I am, some sort of self insert character?"  
  
"Well, we are from another fica, and we did get here by our own actions."  
  
"That was about as funny as a rubber crutch, FRED."  
  
"I was being serious."  
  
Muck was quiet for a long moment, then sighed. "I still don't like this, FRED. But if you're right and I'm gonna be stuck in the central role of what feels to me like a particularly bad piece of fan-fiction, we'd best see about getting ourselves established around here. And FRED?"  
  
"Yes?"  
  
"You can stop playing music track of 'The Impossible Dream' now."  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Muck leaned back and stretched before returning his attention to the web page in front of him. He'd guessed right, because the Nerima Public Library did, in fact, have public access to this fica's version of the Internet. And the study carrels the computers were in allowed him to surreptitiously connect the data-link from FRED's remote into the back. So, while he appeared to be browsing some random web pages, FRED was hacking through the back alleys of the 'net, quietly creating the needed entries to establish them as legal residents. Muck had wisely included a number of jewels in the things he carried from fica to fica, so getting cash was a simple matter of finding a jeweler and selling a couple. The ongoing cost of life in this city would put a strain on that, though, so a job was an imperative; that meant getting into the right computers to forge the documents he'd have had if he'd come to Japan in the normal way. Even with FRED doing the real work, it was still taking forever, though. It looked like Muck was probably going to have to find a Hotel for tonight and find a room in the morning. He scanned the links at the bottom of the web page, before deciding on one called 'Tales of the Wanderer'. As the page came up on the screen, he felt his jaw drop. Only the hastily remembered fact that he was in a library kept a shout of shock from his lips as he took in the page.  
  
It was a piece of fan-fiction, set in the Sailor Moon universe, but he was apparently the star. A pair of drawings adorned the top of the page, of him in both his human and Star Ranger forms. Below it was an encapsulated version of his life, as well. He clicked on the link to the story itself, and his shock grew as he read the opening paragraph. one that accurately described what had happened on that fateful day now two years in the past. A shiver ran down his spine at that, and he tore his thoughts away from that amazing document. Instead, he brought up a chat window to allow him non-verbal communication with FRED.  
  
::FRED? Are we almost done here?::  
  
::Just finishing up now.::  
  
::Great. Download this web-site to your onboard storage.::  
  
::Roger. Linking. Downloading. Transfer complete. Holy Heinlein! Is this for real?::  
  
::I dunno. We should assume it is, though. Can we unplug? I really need a drink.::  
  
::Yes. Closing the link.::  
  
Muck suppressed another shiver, and shut down the link software, ejecting the diskette and pocketing it in a smooth motion. Another second and the link cable was out of the back of the library's computer; allowing him to pocket FRED's remote and walk out as if nothing was wrong. As soon as he got in, though, FRED could tell that he was very troubled by all this; but a small hand gesture indicated that Muck didn't want to talk about it at the moment.  
  
The pair drove in silence, taking random turns, for about a half an hour when a sign caught Muck's eye. 'The Tea Fleet bar?' he thought to himself, 'now there's an interesting pun for you.' He was still shaken (and a bit stirred up) and there was parking nearby, so he decided it was as good a place as any other.  
  
Inside, the place was most accommodating. For some reason he'd always preferred quiet, dimly lit places to do his drinking in; this place had that in spades. Not so dark as to endanger one's footing, but pleasantly dim nonetheless. A handful of hostesses moved about the place, their outfits low cut and short skirted without being the outright bunny suits many Tokyo establishments used. A redhead, Akemi by name, greeted him and led him to a booth. A menu was offered, but declined in favor of whatever the house special was, both in terms of food and drink. The former was some sort of beef dish, the latter, a mix of tea and sake appropriately named chi-ke; both did a very good job of settling his nerves and sating his hunger. Eight or so chi-ke's later, he found himself engaged in conversation with Akemi; the small crowd having thinned out even further.  
  
When the conversation turned to life in Tokyo, Muck 'admitted' that he was fairly new in town, and was looking for someplace reasonable to stay. Akemi smiled at that, and told him there was a vacancy in her rooming house. The guy next door had married the manager, and they hadn't been able to find anyone to take the empty room yet. Even with the chi-ke coursing through his system, there was something about her gaze when she passed him the card with the address and a sketch map on it that made him feel slightly uncomfortable. Still, he thanked her before making his way to the door, hoping it wasn't apparent that he was beating a hasty retreat.  
  
A rainstorm had passed through, and the clean spring air helped to clear his head as he and FRED sorted their way through the streets of the nearby town of HigashiKurume to the rooming house Akemi had mentioned. It was an older building, probably pre-WWII, yet Maison Ikkoku had a nice homey feel about it; and its managers, a couple around thirty, were very nice. Room 5 was a touch on the small side, only 4.5 tatami mats in floor area, but the price was right and the building itself wasn't that far from the train station; promising easy access to wherever it was he found work. Once the paperwork was filled out, though, Muck's energy began to drop. He was barely able to get the futon out of its storage space before sagging onto it, deciding to bring in his things in the morning.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
The sensation of a wet tongue washing his face was what awoke him the next morning, forcing him to peel open a gummy eye to regard the source; a large white dog of indeterminate species. Said dog promptly sat down and regarded him with a woof and a canine twinkle in its eyes before leaning forward to lick his face again.  
  
"Ack! Blech! Eww. No face kissies. NO FACE KISSIES," Muck protested, trying to push the dog away.  
  
"Funny, that's not what you said last night," a sultry female voice murmured behind him, shocking him into complete wakefulness. He twisted himself around, and found himself staring into the blue eyes of the hostess he'd met the night before. The resulting shout of surprise and terror could be heard throughout the building, as he all but tele-ported across the room!  
  
"What's the matter, lover?" Akemi purred as she rose to a sitting position, "You seemed eager enough last night." Muck's reply was an incoherent babble as he continued to try and back his way up the far wall. As if on cue, several heads popped up around the doorjamb. Two of them Muck recognized; Kyouko and Yusaku, the superintendents, the other two fellow residents of the boarding house. The reactions of the four were unusually mixed. Kyouko rushed in to gather in the dog, which clearly was hers, and named Souichiro. His fellow residents rushed over to Akemi, congratulating her and brandishing bottles of sake as if a party was about to break out any second. Yusaku had taken one look at the whole scene and collapsed in the middle of the hall laughing outrageously; personally, Muck saw little humor in the whole situation.  
  
In the end, it was Kyouko who finally brought the whole mess under control, by getting Roppongi-san to admit that she'd snuck in early that morning and that nothing had really happened. This disappointed the remaining pair of housemates until they decided that this was a perfect time for a housewarming party instead; Kyouko nipped that in the bud by shooing everyone out of the room except for a still giggling Yusaku, who closed the door behind them.  
  
"Excuse me for saying so, but somehow the humor of this escapes me, Kanrinin-san", Muck observed in a dry tone to his new superintendent.  
  
"That's because you're looking at it from the inside, Thunders-kun." Muck raised an eyebrow at the unanticipated honorific change, but Yusaku continued on. "And there really is no need to be quite so formal. Godai is fine. When I remember all the times something like that happened to me, seeing someone else in the same situation brought out the entire humor in it. Not to mention the look of total shock on your face."  
  
"This sort of thing happens frequently, Godai-san?"  
  
"Not as much as it did before Kyouko and I married. Usually to me, I should add, with Kyouko walking in at just the right time to get a totally wrong impression."  
  
"Sounds like it was one heck of a romance, Godai-san."  
  
"You have no idea. Here, let me make us some tea and I'll give you the highlights."  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
". So, with another child on the way, we didn't have much choice but for me to find a work. Even with Otonashi-sama not charging us interest, we're barely making ends meet."  
  
"It's a definite challenge, Godai-san, but life always is."  
  
"That's true. I have my concerns about it, of course. Mostly for myself, though. Kyouko may have a gentle heart, but it's supported by a will of steel. Unfortunately, the only work I could find could be slightly hazardous to one's health."  
  
"Oh? What did you do, join the fire brigade?"  
  
"Nothing quite so dangerous. I'm a high school teacher."  
  
Now it was Muck's turn to snicker. "What's so dangerous about that?"  
  
"At Furinkan High."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Oh indeed, if even an outsider like yourself has heard about it. In fact, over the past year most of the faculty has transferred, retired, or resigned. It's the only school in the whole metropolis with openings, and they're still a couple of teachers short."  
  
Muck swore. "Now I understand why it was so easy to go from a tourist visa to a working one."  
  
Now it was Yusaku's turn to wear a shocked look. "That's rather unusual," he mused half to himself. Then the light dawned behind his eyes. "Let me guess. you're a teacher yourself?"  
  
"Bingo." His dry tone indicated that Muck realized how neatly he'd tricked himself, and set Yusaku into hysterics once more, though this time the laughter died down much quicker. Yusaku cocked his head to one side, listening to the occasional creak of the old building.  
  
"Why don't we get out of here then. I can take you over to the district office so you can fill out the forms; You'll probably have a job by tonight. And, I think I hear the terrible trio working up to stage another attempt at a housewarming party. We can duck them if we sneak out now."  
  
"I'd like to get cleaned up first. I probably smell something fierce."  
  
"Not a problem. There's a bathhouse on the way. Just grab a change of clothes and I'll meet you down front in five minutes or so, OK?"  
  
"OK."  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Muck eyed the office clock and had to force himself not to fidget. Godai-san had been right; the need for teachers was bad enough they'd only given his resume a casual going over before tentatively hiring him. Final approval had to be made by the principal in question, though, and Muck felt rather self-conscious of his appearance. It turned out that he was down to one clean white shirt. Unfortunately, it hadn't remained that way. He and Godai had stopped off between the district office and Furinkan so he could get a cup of coffee. He'd made the mistake of ordering it to go, and the two of them had traveled less than a block before the Ranma express thundered by, causing him to spill the coffee all over his shirt. The only saving grace of the whole incident was that he did have another clean shirt with him. but it was one of the loud Hawaiian prints he preferred as casual wear.  
  
A moment later Principal Kuno called him into the office, and Muck had to admit to himself that maybe fortune had actually smiled on him instead. He'd never watched the show much before he'd gone a wandering, but apparently the principal was every bit Hawaii crazy as the general hints had suggested. The inside of his office really had been redecorated to resemble a beach, right down to sand and sun-lamps, and Principal Kuno was stretched out on a chaise lounge, idly scanning Muck's application and resume which had been faxed ahead. Kuno waved to the chaise lounge facing him, and fixed Muck with an appraising look as Muck crunched over to it and sat, remaining upright instead of reclining the way Kuno was.  
  
"Nice shirt, Keiki. Hair's a bit long, but I guess we can't have everything, eh?"  
  
"If you say so, sir," Muck replied, deciding that mentioning pineapple trees really weren't meant as headgear would not be a very astute move.  
  
Kuno chuckled at that, then glanced back at Muck's resume. "So, why relocate? There must be plenty of fine jobs back in the states."  
  
"A pretty classic tale. I came over on a visitor's visa, but I'd like to really experience Japan. And that means living and working here, Sir."  
  
Kuno nodded at that, then rose to his feet and held out his hand. "Welcome to Furinkan, Thunders-san." The speed of the decision had caught Muck off guard, but he rose to his feet and accepted the handshake anyway. He found himself back in the outer office, noting with amazement that the entire interview had taken less than five minutes. It took another two hours to finish the paperwork and collect the papers he needed, but he and Godai still had arrived back at Maison Ikkoku just after sunset. He made his way up the stairs to his room, only to find the residents had set up a surprise housewarming party in his absence anyway. This earned Yusaku an evil glare, but he only shrugged as if to say it was a surprise to him as well. Muck shook his head, and resigned himself to the fact that whatever else the immediate future held, it was going to be anything but boring and made his way into the heart of the party that was being thrown in his honor. 


	3. School Dazed?

Ranma ½ and Maison Ikkoku are both property of Rumiko Takahashi,  
and the several publishing companies she has sold the rights too as   
well.  
  
Books 1 and 2 can be found at: Rangerhq.50megs.com Sofaspud.Org,  
and Fanfiction.net  
  
Comments and criticism welcome, E-mail me at starrngr@aol.com;  
Pointless flames will be ignored.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Tales of the Wanderer: Book Three: "Nerima Wandering" Chapter 2:   
"School Daze(d?)"  
  
  
The first day of the new school year had fallen, appropriately  
enough, on the first of April. While the English tradition of   
'April-Fools' hadn't achieved any real penetration into the Japanese  
culture, there was one new teacher who was fully aware of the irony  
of this fact. And he, at least, was not looking forward to the day  
ahead. It could be said, in fact, that he wasn't really looking  
ahead at all; when he met his co-worker out front of their boarding  
home for the walk to the train station, his eyes were still half   
closed and quite puffy looking.  
  
"You're not much of a morning person, are you?" teased Godai  
as the pair entered the train station. "I thought you said you were  
going to try to get to bed early last night."  
  
"That was before Akemi decided to 'sleepwalk' into my bed again.  
Five times, no less."  
  
"I thought I warned you to lock your door."  
  
"I did. It didn't help."  
  
"Oh." There was commiseration apparent on Godai's face as the  
train pulled in. For someone who claimed to still be half asleep,  
Thunders was still able to hold his own in the crush for train seats;  
although he did chose to remain standing, seemingly still asleep  
even as he held onto the hand loop. Nor did he miss their stop   
either. He was moving towards the doors before Godai could elbow  
him and mention they'd arrived. The only time Thunders looked   
remotely awake was when he'd stopped for a moment at a Starbuck's  
and rattled off an order without even looking at the menu. Godai  
wasn't certain what it was, but the attendant did, so the pair was   
still able to make it to the office right on time.  
  
As they signed in, the secretary handed out the finalized  
class schedule. The good news was their break period would be first  
period; the bad was that this meant they'd be the yard monitors  
before school starting tomorrow. Godai went pale at the news, but   
Thunders simply raised an eyebrow at this and grunted before   
shuffling out of the office.   
  
Once in the teacher's lounge, Godai wandered over to the window  
and shuddered. "Oh, my poor wife. How will you survive loosing  
another husband so soon?" he moaned to himself.  
  
"Oh good grief, Godai-san. Its just yard monitor duty, not an   
assignment to a war zone," Muck grumped from where he sat sipping  
his coffee.  
  
"You'd have a better chance surviving a war, Thunders-kun.  
Look!"  
  
Muck Thunders pried open an eye and appraised the mass of male  
students crowded around the gate. They surged forward, as if in   
response to a battle cry from the other side of the fence, only to be  
propelled back into the schoolyard, flung back over the fence in   
threes and fours and fives. "Looks like the normal arrival of the   
Tendo express to me," he grunted. "I thought they'd given up." A   
particularly high-flying student landed just outside the window and  
lay where he fell, groaning. "Aha. Looks like Kuno has terrorised  
the freshmen. I give it a week before they're more afraid of Tendo  
than of him. In the meantime, just stay out of the way. You'll  
be fine."  
  
"But we're the teachers! How can we expect the students to   
respect us if we're too chicken to step in and stop something  
like this?"  
  
"I bet we get a lot more respect for showing the common sense  
not get caught in the collision between the unstoppable force and the  
immovable object. Now come away from the window before you worry  
yourself straight into an institution. What good will you be to your  
wife and children if they have to haul you away in a hug-me coat?"  
  
"Right, right," Godai sighed before turning his back on the   
window and sinking into the couch that was beneath it. "You seem to  
be taking this all awfully calmly though."  
  
"Hey, just because I'm Gajin doesn't mean I'm stupid," Muck   
replied with a smile as he leaned back in his chair and reached  
for his coffee. However, before he could, a child's hand grabbed  
it.  
  
"Mmm. Starbucks!" the young girl exulted after draining the   
cup, then stood on tiptoes and kissed Muck on the cheek. "Thanks!"  
she crowed as she skipped from the room, leaving a flabbergasted  
Muck in her wake.  
  
"HEY! That was *MY* coffee!!!"  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Ranma Satome found himself having to deal with a mounting  
sense of unease the closer he found himself to Furinkan High. In   
fact, he was about as nervous as a cat at a dog show, though he'd   
never think of it that way… for obvious reasons. He was so keyed  
up at the moment that had a new enemy appeared out of nowhere to   
challenge him, said enemy would have been in traction before uttering  
two words!  
  
This lingering sense of impending doom could be traced to one   
simple fact; He was having the perfect morning. No dunkings in the  
koi pond, no pounding by an enraged Akane, nor marriage pressure  
from any of the in-parentus loco's. No attempted glomps from   
Shan-Pu, either, and he'd even managed to avoid the ladle lady!   
Simply put, things were going far to well to last long and Ranma was  
waiting for the other shoe to drop.  
  
He was so busy looking over his shoulders for surprise threats  
he ran straight into Akane's outstretched arm and book-bag.  
  
"Hold this, Ranma."  
  
"Huh?" This got Ranma's attention enough that he noticed the   
swarm of freshmen waiting just inside the gate. Behind them was   
Kuno, rallying his new troops by declaring they could not be full   
members of the student body until they'd proven themselves against  
the fair Akane; who at that moment was preparing to tear into them  
with a vengeance. "I thought they all gave up," he sighed, ready  
to throw himself into the fray as well.  
  
"No you don't, Ranma! This is my fight!" protested Akane.  
  
"But…"  
  
"No buts! I want you to promise to stay out of this! On your  
honor as a martial artist!"  
  
"Aww, geez, Akane!"  
  
"Promise or I'll have Nabiki treat Kasumi to a night out!"  
  
"I promise! I promise already!" Ranma replied in a panic   
before instinctively muttering something about un-cute violent   
tomboys under his breath. Normally, this would have earned him a   
wallop of some sort from said violent, un-cute tomboy; fortunately  
she was far more interested in walloping someone else at the moment.  
She was sending male students flying with even more efficiency  
than last year; they were going back over the school wall in threes  
and fours, occasionally even batches of five and six! This puzzled  
the aqua-transsexual martial artist for a moment, causing him to take  
a closer look at the fighting; once he had the answer was obvious.  
It wasn't just that Akane was better, which she was, it was that her  
new opponents were also much less skilled. Clearly, Kuno had   
resorted to terrorizing the impressionable freshmen to form this new  
squad of challengers. A move that was pure Kuno, really, and one   
Ranma didn't like at all. Those kids didn't really know what they  
were up against and they darn well could get hurt! As Akane handily  
dispatched the last of them, the solution popped into his head. He'd  
promised not to interfere with her fight, but he hadn't said a thing  
about the buffoon who'd sent them into harm's way…  
  
Akane stood panting and glaring at Kuno, ignoring everything  
he said in preparation for a quick, painful punch somewhere below  
the belt as soon as he stopped. That didn't happen, as Ranma bounced  
over her head, dropping in-between her and Kuno, dropping both of   
their book-bags into her hands as he did. He didn't wait for Kuno  
to stop speaking, as he lashed out with a lighting fast strike to the  
stomach. The egotistical kendoist folded over in the middle as a leg  
sweep deprived him of all footing. Kuno sort of rolled up into a   
ball, which Ranma then accurately punted into the fourth floor,   
forcing Nabiki and her court to duck as Kuno was neatly delivered  
to his new classroom.  
  
Ranma turned with a smirk, which vanished as soon as he saw   
Akane's expression. It wasn't the full on daemon head that their  
fathers had perfected, but she was also clearly not happy.  
  
"I. Asked. You. To. Stay. Out. Of. This!"  
  
"I did! I didn't say nuthin about Kuno!"  
  
"RANMA, YOU JERK!"  
  
Ranma went flying, courtesy of a book-bag to the chin; Akane's  
shot just as accurate as his own as he flew head-first through an   
open window of classroom 2-F…  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Kuno Tatewaki, legend in his own mind, was not a person who   
suffered fools gladly. At this moment, he was railing about the   
injustice that 'The wretched sorcerer Satome' had done to his fine  
name; causing him to loose the class presidency to Tendo Nabiki.  
The thought that said damage was due to his own actions was, of   
course, the furthest thing from his mind… And because of this he   
missed the entrance of someone who suffered the fool even less…   
especially when someone swipes his coffee.  
  
"MR Kuno! Kindly shut up and sit down!" came the voice from the  
classroom door, tearing everyone's attention away from the spectacle  
Kuno was making of himself. Nabiki lead the class in bowing to the  
new sensei as he crossed the room, pushing a cart with the books for  
his class, before giving him the same careful examination that she   
would of any possible threat to her ongoing business interests.  
Although this new teacher was an American, he wasn't overpoweringly  
tall… no taller than most other adults, in fact. His sense of taste  
was totally barbaric, as he wore a large brimmed olive green hat over  
his hair, and a long black coat over a print shirt only Principal  
Kuno would appreciate. His eyes were a piercing green, and his   
slightly disheveled hair was the same fiery red as Ranma's cursed  
form as he turned to the blackboard to write his name for the class.  
  
"Good morning, seniors. As you can see, My name is Micheal  
Thunders, and I will be your sensei this year for the subjects  
of advanced English and World History. For those of you who seem to  
miss something even when it's right under their noses," Nabiki noted  
that the Sensei glared at Kuno when he said that… "Yes, I am   
American. I served in the American military, and flew combat   
missions during the Gulf War before going into teaching instead.  
Principal Kuno feels this makes me uniquely suited to give you a   
slightly different viewpoint on these subjects than a native might."  
  
The next half-hour passed quickly because of the mundane tasks  
of handing out textbooks and the course syllabus, which included  
items such as the proper format for class assignments and the grading  
curve, before Thunders-sensei dropped a bombshell on the class.  
  
He'd handed out what was expected to be a rather standard  
pre-test that turned out to be anything but. The questions were in   
English the multiple-choice answers were in Japanese, and the subject  
was World History. This unusual combination brought Kuno to his feet  
in protest, which sentenced him to the hall bucket brigade until   
lunch. It was a deliberate move on Thunder-sensei's part, though…  
because it allowed him to gage both a student's knowledge of the   
English language and World History at the same time, as   
Thunders-sensei explained after banishing Kuno.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Nabiki slowly chewed her lunch as she also digested the reports  
her information network had gathered. Apparently Typhoon Gajin (as  
Thunders-sensei had been quietly nicknamed) was due to strike Ranma  
and Akane's classroom after lunch for the subjects of introductory  
English, Algebra, and Science. She wondered if Nerima-Ku would be   
big enough for the clash of Egos that was about to erupt, and if   
there was a way she could profit from it…  
  
Outside, in the schoolyard, Ranma and Akane were also eating  
lunch, camped out under their usual tree, along with their friends.  
Ukyuo had brought her portable grill and was set up nearby, doing  
a brisk business with the students who didn't care to brave the   
horrors of the cafeteria. She looked up at her next customer,  
then had to look up a bit more to find her customer's red hair and   
green eyes and avoid the insane riot of color he called a shirt.  
  
"Hello, Ms. Kounji. I take it you have permission from the   
principal to be doing business on the school grounds?"  
  
"Yes, sir, I do."  
  
"Good. Give me two principal's specials then."  
  
The order was quickly prepared and paid for with a hush of   
anticipation that broke out into conversation once the newcomer  
was out of hearing range.  
  
"Wow, Kounji-chan! Do you know who that was?" Hiroshi asked.  
  
"No, should I?"  
  
"That's the new teacher the grapevine is talking about… you   
know, Typhoon Gajin?"  
  
Ranma gave a snort of disgust. "He don't look that tough. It's  
just talk."  
  
"I'd still be careful. I heard he had Kuno out in the hall with  
buckets inside of a half an hour."  
  
"I heard he was some sort of ex-marine and made students do   
pushups if they got out of line."  
  
"I heard he was some sort of special-forces type the Principal  
brought in to keep Ranma in line."  
  
"Someone told me he was a giant chicken."  
  
"DAISUKE!" Everyone yelled in unison.  
  
"Well, they did!"  
  
"As if! Does he look like he's covered in feathers to you?"  
  
"Look at that shirt! He's probably as crazy as the Principal  
is!"  
  
"He ordered a Principal's special. I've never heard of anyone  
else liking ham and pineapple on their okonomiyaki."  
  
"We're doomed. Doomed I tell you! Game over, man!"  
  
"DAISUKE!"  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
It goes without saying that most students greet the final bell  
of the day with a sense of relief. The key word, of course, being  
Most. There are, of course, students for whom that last bell does  
not represent their release for the day; and some students do prefer  
their school environment to that of their home. Ranma Satome   
defiantly felt relief. Not because he was free for the day, but with  
the final bell he could finally get rid of the buckets he was   
holding.  
  
Their new teacher seemed intent on proving that he was just as   
much a stickler for discipline as Ms. Hinako was. Ranma had found  
himself out in the hall almost right away... by the end of the day   
he'd been joined by Akane and Ukyou; who was holding two buckets.  
Akane was holding 4 herself, and Ranma was up to 7; which was the   
cause of his relief. Holding even 7 buckets (three on each arm and  
one on his head) wasn't any strain to a martial artist of his   
caliber, but he was definitely glad to get rid of them before someone  
or something managed to slop all that cold water on him!  
  
The resultant detention was also not as bad as it could have   
been; it consisted of having to finish the various tests that He,   
Akane, and Ukyou hadn't finished before being sent into the hall.  
The only irritating part of it was having to spend most of that time  
with Kuno; still, even that irritation was minimal because Kuno had  
a test of his own to finish. And just to be certain that his   
students behaved, Thunders-sensei had put each of the four into   
separate corners of the room. With three tests to finish, the sun   
was almost down before Ranma was done, with just enough time to get  
home before Pops helped himself to Ranma's dinner.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Muck breathed a sigh of relief with Ranma's departure as well.  
Despite his calm exterior that morning, he'd worried about surviving  
the day himself... especially since his class assignments meant he'd  
be spending his entire time teaching one or more culprits of the   
constant state of turmoil that plagued the area. He'd survived...  
for today at least. Tomorrow, of course, was another day. He was   
fairly certain that he'd survive that too... the only real question  
in his mind just how long it would be before he'd have to resort  
to his 'Star Ranger' persona in order to do so. Muck wanted to put  
off that event for as long as possible; aside from the inevitable  
questions and concerns about having to dodge people who wanted to   
study him, Nabiki Tendo was one of his students... one who was known  
for using anything that came to her attention to her advantage.  
  
All in all, however, these were considerations for later. He   
dropped Ranma's tests in with the rest of them in his breifcase  
and hurried to sign out. The setting sun confirmed the lateness  
of the hour even without having to check his watch. All in all, that  
made the 'Eat Out' vs 'Eat In' debate a slam dunk; he didn't have   
anything in the fridge back at the Maison. By the time he caught  
the train, picked up food, and finished preparing it? He'd have   
starved to death first! Of course, that left the question of where;  
a major consideration of its own that would normally tip the debate  
in favor of 'Eat In'.  
  
In the simplest terms, Muck really didn't know anything about  
the local eating establishments. Well, he knew something about two  
of them, really, but only what Takahashi had felt like adding to her  
stories... which didn't include niceities like a map. Nor did that  
cover the concern of deliberatly placing oneself so close to a known  
nexus for the Nerima Insanity Syndrome... something that could well  
be hazardous to one's health, after all.  
  
The prime retail rule of Location, Location, Location settled  
the matter for him. He'd just crossed the tracks when the smell of   
cooking Okonomiyaki tickled his nose and mugged his rumbling   
stoumach. Making like Toucan Sam and following his nose revealed  
that Ukyou's storefront was only a block and a half down the street  
from the train tracks; with the grumbling of his stoumach overriding  
the screaming of his common sense he went in.  
  
Ucchan's had a nice homey feel to it, with its wood paneling  
and semi private booths along each wall. A dozen or so tables filled  
the rest of the floor between the front of the storefront and Ukyou's  
grill at the back, where said cook was putting on her usual   
impressive showing of her cooking arts. The number of customers  
present, giving the place a nicely filled feeling without being   
packed confirmed how Ukyou was able to afford to live away from her  
parents, even with the occasional closure to chase her Ran-chan.  
  
"Table for one, sir, or would you prefer a seat at the grill?"  
the waitress asked, appearing by his elbow as if by magic. Forcing  
himself not to jump, Muck indicated the grill would be fine, and   
rumaged through his memories to place her. Konsenastu, or something  
like that, was the answer the probe brain that he'd merged with all  
those years ago came up with. Male, but brought up believing  
he was female; trained as a ninja, sort of a male version of   
Cinderella till he was rescued. Attached himself to Ukyou as a loyal  
servant after that. No indication that he spoke English, but he'd  
probably learned it on his own to communicate better with tourist  
customers.  
  
"Arigato, Konsenastu. But its not neccecary. I can speak   
Nihongo1", Muck answered as he was lead to his seat.  
  
"Konastu,honored sir", Konastu replied, switching back to his   
native tounge as he took Muck's hat and coat. "Tea, Sir?"  
  
"No, Thank you. Whatever cola you happen to have on tap,   
please."  
  
"Right away sir..." Konatsu replied with a smile before   
vanishing in plain sight even as Ukyou steped over to take his order.  
  
"Are you ready to order or do you need some time sug... gomen,  
Sensei?" she asked, causing Muck to chuckle under his breath at her  
change in terms as soon as she'd gotten a good look at him.  
  
"Sugar is fine, Ukyou. I'm only Sensei while you're in class,  
as far as I'm concerned; and yes, two 'Principal specials' please."  
Ukyou's response was simply to smile and turn her concentration  
back to the cooking surface. Muck sat back, watching her cook even  
as his soda appeared as if by magic. Konatsu was quite good at what  
he did, really, Muck mused to himself; yet being the ultimate in   
unobtrousive service really wasn't the way to guarentee large tips!  
Still, the only time the 'kounichi' allowed himself to be noticed  
were those times when he? she? needed to be... such as when takeing  
someone's order. The rest of the time orders teleported magically  
from grill to table while tea and water glasses refilled themselves,  
Muck observed as he watched the on-going show that was business  
as usual here until his order materialized in front of him.  
  
He was poking at the last few scraps of that excellent meal,  
his hunger satitated to that point where one must choose between  
just one more bite and feeling overly full when Ukyou spoke to him   
again.  
  
"Um, Sensei?"  
  
"Please, Ukyou. Save the Senseis for when I'm actually   
teaching. Otherwise I won't be certain who you're talking to."  
  
"Well, it really is Sensei. I really wanted to appologise  
for disrupting class this afternoon, Sensei."  
  
"Ah. Appology accepted then, Ms. Kunonji. May I ask what it was  
that created the outburst, though?"  
  
Business had slacked off while Muck had been eating, and Ukyou  
concentrated on cleaning off the grill as she mumbled something  
that wasn't quite intelligable.  
  
"I'm sorry, I missed that."  
  
"IwastryingtoappologiseforbombingtheirweddingSensei,"  
she repeated with a blush. Muck absentmindedly popped one last bite  
in his mouth while he mentally translated the rushed admission  
into something understandable.  
  
"And they wouldn't accept it?"  
  
"Sensei, they ignored me. Its been almost a month since then,  
and they still won't talk to me about it. Anything else, and its   
like nothing happened, but if I try to appologise they treat me like  
I no longer exist!" Blushing furiously, Ukyou suddenly returned  
her full attention to an already spotless grill, suddenly trying  
to scrub a hole right through the metal. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't  
have drug you into this, sensei."  
  
"Actually, when it affects the classroom, it becomes my   
business, Ukyou. You should know that by now."  
  
"Yes, Sensei," Ukyou sighed, her voice barely audable.  
  
Muck poped his last bite into his mouth as a delaying tactic  
while he sorted out that information. He'd figured it was after the  
Wedding, since the consensus was that the events of manga had occured  
within the span of a single school year. Now, though, he had   
confirmation, as well as vital information about just how far into  
uncharted teritory he was. As he swallowed that bite he looked back  
down... and square into a pair of brown eyes that had a look that   
demanded answers.  
  
"How is it that a new sensei like yourself knows so much about  
what happened a month ago?" Ukyou demanded in a tone that suddenly  
had no deference to his position plus a hint of having to suddenly  
dodge spatuli if she didn't like the answer.  
  
"Because I do my homework, Ms. Kounji. Just because I'm Gaijin  
doesn't mean I'm clueless. When the district and your principal  
are willing to hire me almost off the street, it makes one wonder.  
And the level of incidental destruction that accompanies Ranma Satome  
and his cadre of friends, enemies, and fiancees everywhere they go   
pretty much guarentees coverage of the various incidents in the local  
papers. It wasn't to hard to figure out at least some of the   
dynamics of your compaitrots from that."  
  
Ukyou paused for a moment, considering that as the fire died in  
her eyes to be replaced with a look of wonderment. "Somehow I always  
thought homework was something that you gave the students, not the   
other way around."  
  
"Don't be silly, Ukyou. Teachers spend at least as much time  
out of the classroom grading papers and preparing the next lesson  
as we do in front of the class. At least the ones truly worthy of   
the title anyway."  
  
"Yes, Sensei," Ukyou agreed with a blush.  
  
"Good," Muck confirmed as he stood and laid down enough yen to   
cover his bill, then accepted his coat and hat from Konatsu. "I   
don't know what to tell you about your friends, and frankly unless  
it affects my classes its not my place. Please see to it that it   
doesn't."  
  
"Yes, Sensei."  
  
"Untill tommorow, then." 


	4. Sakura Season

Ranma « and Maison Ikkoku are both property of Rumiko  
Takahashi, and the several publishing companies she has sold  
the rights too as well.  
  
Books 1 and 2 can be found at:  
Rangerhq.50megs.com  
Sofaspud.Org, and  
Fanfiction.net  
  
Comments and criticism welcome, E-mail me at starrngr@aol.com;  
Pointless flames will be ignored.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Tales of the Wanderer: Book Three: "Nerima Wandering"  
Chapter 3: "Sakura Season"  
  
Of Tatewaki Kuno, many things could be said; some of them  
were even complimentary. Most of the rest were variants of  
the theme that he was a few floors short of an elevator.   
Prior to the arrival of that wretch Saotome, however, the  
fierce reputation of the Blue Thunder's prowess had keep the  
unwashed masses in their place. Now, however, many of those  
who should rightly fear his wrath all but openly mocked him!  
With his noble heritage should have been able to call upon the  
most able bodied of the male assemblage of Furinkan High;  
instead he was reduced to conscripting... FRESHMEN. That fact  
left a bitter taste in his mouth, for were not freshmen the  
lowest form of life known to man? Nevertheless, if they were  
the only tools he could still bind to his bidding, they were  
the tools he would use! Even the greatest of samurai took the  
field with retainers, after all... including peasants who's  
primary purpose were to die gloriously in the service of their  
liege. Even the weather seemed his ally this day, with a dark  
scuttling overcast that promised rain later.  
  
Thus was Kuno's grand plan as he rallied his troops at  
the gates; for soon the beauteous Akane would arrive. And  
with her would be that accursed Saotome, always near lest  
Akane's magnificent will cast off his foul geas. Said geas  
would no doubt force her to throw herself against the forces  
arrayed against her; but in that it would be its own undoing.   
Surely the energy require to force said fair maiden into an  
action so far removed from her demure nature would weaken  
it... allowing her love for him to shatter it completely.  
  
Yes, there were many things that could truthfully be said  
about Kuno. That he was sane was defiantly not one of them,  
the sheer force of his delusions by now considered a perfect  
example of the metaphorical unmovable object. Said object was  
about to find itself in the path of the equally metaphorical  
unstoppable force, however; and only in that collision would  
the truth of which one was and which was not would be proven.   
That this collision was inevitable could be ascribed to a  
simple fact... 'Muck' Thunders, a man who could not abide  
bullies of any shape or form even before embarking upon his  
career as the Star Ranger! The upside of that was that he'd  
not need his Star Ranger abilities to deal with this, and he  
gave his partner in crime an evil grin.  
  
Godai looked up as he all but felt that gaze cross him.   
"Remind me why I have to be the one who does this again?" he  
sighed as he nervously fiddled with the shirt and head-piece  
he'd just donned.  
  
"Because there isn't any way *I* can pass as Principal  
Kuno. Besides... do you want to be the one who confronts Kuno  
Jr?" Godai shuddered. "I didn't think so," Muck concluded  
with a smirk. He glanced around the corner once more.   
"Showtime. Don't forget your cue, now..."  
  
Outside the gate of Furinkan, Akane caught sight of  
Kuno's would be army and growled. Loudly. "Haven't they had  
enough yet?" She demanded of nobody in particular.  
  
"Geez, Akane. They're just freshmen. They don't know  
any better," Ranma replied with a derisive snort. "Why don't  
you just ignore them?"  
  
"Excuse me, Mr. I never ignore a challenge? You're a  
FINE one to be talking!"  
  
"Yeah, well, maybe that's because the people who come a  
challenging are actually got enough I don't have to worry  
about hurting them accidentally!" Ranma countered with a  
derisive snort. The argument between the two quickly went  
downhill from there.  
  
Inside the gates, Kuno noticed the sudden panicked  
shifting of his conscripted army and drew his boken as he  
prepared to rally his troops.  
  
"FREEZE, KUNO!" bellowed a voice from behind him, causing  
him to whirl in surprise to see who could possibly have sheer  
affront. Behind him, unnoticed, the freshmen began to inch  
away en masse; having heard the rumors about 'Typhoon Gajin'  
along with the rest of the school. Muck himself was  
struggling to remain in character rather than grinning like a  
fool as he stormed across the front of the school campus.   
Only the thought of what well could happen to said freshmen if  
he didn't pull this off kept the mask of righteous indignation  
in place.  
  
"This matter does not concern you, GAJIN," Kuno replied,  
furious at having his plan disrupted. "We are not inside the  
classroom; a barbarian like yourself could not possibly  
understand!"  
  
"What I understand, STUDENT, is that we are ON school  
grounds and YOU'RE putting fellow students in danger! And  
since *I'M* a duly designated yard monitor, that MAKES it my  
business, got it?" Muck countered, his anger no longer an act  
as a visible flaming aura appeared around the teacher. "So,  
you've got THREE, count 'em, THREE seconds to start talking  
before you get to explain this to the Principal..."  
  
Hearing his cue, Godai also stepped from around the  
corner of the building. "Aloha, Kekei's," he called, trying  
desperately to impersonate the Principal's booming basso and  
failing miserably. It really didn't matter as this was too  
much for even the most timid of the freshmen, the one's who's  
fear of Kuno was enough that even Muck's flaming aura was not  
enough to send them into outright flight, now fled the once  
force that was feared above all others by the student body;  
desperately seeking the safe haven of their classrooms. That  
this route took them squarely over they're feared leader was  
of no importance, such was their terror, though they did give  
the still flaming instructor a respectable berth.  
  
Outside the gates, the argument had wound down to a half-  
hearted spate of tired insults. Sensing something different,  
Ranma and Akane looked about in confusion, both noticing the  
absence of the horde of male students that had blocked the  
gate moments earlier. Confused, but not about to look a gift  
horse in the mouth, they only shrugged at each other and  
hurried in to their classroom as well, not noticing Muck as he  
pulled a half dazed Kuno to his feet and dusted him off.  
  
"On second thought, Kuno, I don't really want to know  
what you were doing with all those freshmen," Muck declared in  
a lighter tone which quickly became deadly serious as he  
continued. "And you're right that I don't have any say in  
what you do outside of school. However, if I EVER catch you  
pulling a stunt like this, or otherwise terrorizing the  
underclassmen on school grounds, I'm going to make this  
morning look like a picnic. Understand?"  
  
"Y-yes, sensei," stammered a rather dazed Kuno before  
collapsing into the dirt once more as the first bell rang.   
Muck turned to Godai, with the intention of re-assuring his  
nervous landlord when the two of them heard clapping behind  
them.  
  
"I was wonder'n when I'd find a coupla cool Kahuna's  
who'd be stand'n up to my son," Principal Kuno boomed as the  
two teachers turned nervously to face him. "Looks like you  
two will be doin' jus fine. Although," and with this, his  
gaze fixed on Godai, "I tink you be needin some more lessons  
on how to act like myself, eh? In fact, why don't you step  
into my office so I can be givin you some pointers..."  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
By the time lunch rolled around, the rain had set in,  
turning the large window of the teachers lounge into a  
somewhat impressionistic painting, forcing everyone indoors,  
including the teachers like Muck and Godai, who was less than  
happy. "Some friend you are. You could have at least TRIED  
to rescue me..."  
  
Muck just shrugged at that. "And what was I supposed to  
do? Impossible rescues against all odds take a bit of time to  
plan, you know..."  
  
Godai did a remarkable impression of a gaffed fish for a  
few moments as he tried to come up with some sort of reply and  
failed. Finally, he shook his head and reached into his  
briefcase instead, tossing Muck a bento box before pulling out  
a second for himself. "I really shouldn't give this to you,  
but, Kyoko made this for you after hearing how much of a non-  
morning person you are."  
  
"That's one fine wife you have, Yusaku."  
  
"Truer words have never been spoken, Muck. I'd kind of  
like to have a nice long life with her, too, you know."   
Implied, but never mentioned, was the belief that such  
wouldn't happen unless Muck stopped dragging him into Muck's  
crazy schemes, though. A moment of quiet settled over the  
pair as they applied themselves to lunch.  
  
"Wanna go to the Tea Fleet tonight? My treat..." Muck  
relied on tone alone to make the point that this was a peace  
offering.  
  
"Wouldn't be fair to Kyoko. I doubt she'd appreciate my  
coming home late AND drunk."  
  
"Spoilsport. What can I do to make it up to you, then?"  
  
"Babysit for us sometime."  
  
"Deal."  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Ranma looked at Akane as if she'd suddenly grown an extra  
head. He'd actually stopped eating as he stared at her; such  
was the depth of his surprise. This fact was not lost on the  
others of their little lunch group, who'd also stopped eating  
to stare at the sight. The tableau wasn't broken until  
Hiroshi nudged Daisuke with his elbow, causing the other youth  
to pass over a few yen even as Akane stopped glaring and  
started talking again.  
  
"Idiot. Its not like I used any big words, Ranma. I  
want you to tell Ukyou we forgive her for what she did at the  
wedding. Can't you see that its still bothering her?"  
  
"But she could have hurt someone, Akane. Good grief, she  
could have hurt YOU! And now you want me to forgive her?"  
  
"Yes, I do. Can't you see the way it bugs her the way  
you pretend nothing's wrong except when someone mentions it?   
Its tearing her apart inside, Ranma! Please? For me?"  
  
Ranma looked into those large brown eyes and felt his  
resolve crumble. For all his assertations otherwise, she  
could be darn cute when she wanted too... usually when she  
wanted Ranma to do something, like now. Ever since the trip  
to Mt. Phoenix, when he'd had to face up to how he really felt  
about her, it was getting harder and harder to drop back into  
the old rhythms of petty sniping and fighting... He put down  
the bento and rose to his feet with a sigh. "All right.   
Since you asked... you un-cute tomboy you."  
  
"Maybe, but I'm YOUR un-cute tomboy and don't you forget  
it!"  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Nabiki leaned back in her chair and tried to make sense  
of the days events. Typhoon Gajin certainly was continuing to  
live up to his nickname; but something about all this  
intrigued her. On the surface of it, it seemed clear enough;  
between what he'd said to Kuno, and an apparently similar  
message repeated to her sister and Ranma that afternoon, the  
man was on some sort of one man crusade to keep the fights, at  
least, off of school property. But why? Never mind that; she  
was coming at this problem from the wrong angle. No one knew  
anything about this human cipher; it was like he'd appeared  
full blown at the start of the new school year. That was the  
tack to take here. Learn about the what, and the why would  
become apparent. And who knew, maybe she could even find some  
way to profit off of it as well...  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Muck put down his coffee cup and stretched. The interior  
of room 5 hadn't changed much since he moved in; much to the  
other tenant's surprise. He'd purchased a comfortable chair  
and a large desk, on which sat the computer that formed FRED's  
presence in the apartment. There was also a bookcase half  
full of books next to the desk, and a few cooking appliances  
on the counter that formed the kitchen space, but that was it.  
  
"Thunders-San!" As if on cue, Yotsuya's head popped  
through the wall. "Its early, why don't we..." Whatever the  
suggestion was, it went unfinished as Muck stood and grabbed  
the golf club that was leaning negligently against a corner of  
the desk.  
  
"Fore!" With a wish-thump, the club made contact with  
Yotsuya's forehead, driving him back through the wall into  
room 4. Irritated, Muck knelt down next to the hole. "For  
the last bloody time, Yotsuya-san! I don't care WHAT you  
want. Until you can learn to use a Door, the answer is NO!"   
Sighing in irritation, he propped the club back up against the  
corner of the desk and flopped back into the chair.  
  
"Ok, Fred. I'll believe that Ranma is some sort of  
chaotic nexus. I'll even stipulate that he might be the cause  
of the distortions that are keeping you from getting the  
readings we need to move on. What I don't buy is why you  
think getting him married is the answer."  
  
"Look at the source material. He never choose one girl  
over all the rest."  
  
"Unproven. Its pretty clear that at the end of volume 38  
that he only loves Akane. The rest are just friends, or  
irritations."  
  
"But he's never actually told the rest no. Their  
probabilities still exist. And that's the problem. Its like  
we're in the trunk of a tree, with five main branches."  
  
"Only four fiancees."  
  
"The fifth equals none of the above. Also a valid, if  
unlikely choice."  
  
"Ok, so we're part of a bloody tree. What does this have  
to do with not being able to open a bloody portal?"  
  
"I'm trying to get there. We're like a molecule of water  
being drawn down the trunk to one of those branches. We don't  
know exactly WHERE in the trunk we are, either, and can't  
until we wind up in one of those branches."  
  
"Which doesn't happen until Ranma solve this whole  
fiancee mess?"  
  
"Exactly. And until we know where WE are, I can't figure  
out how to get where we're going."  
  
"So, what is it you suggest we do about it?"  
  
"First, I'd suggest grabbing the club, cause Yostuya's  
about to try coming through the wall again..."  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
From such innocent acorns the great oaks of disaster  
grow. On the surface it would seem innocent enough... take  
the class to view the cherry blossoms and just observe the  
interactions that resulted. That was what FRED thought,  
anyway. The way that the wild horse of Nerima attracted  
suitors, challengers, and other weirdness however... Even the  
initial planning spiraled out of control. Once the principal  
heard about the idea, he got behind it and pushed. Instead of  
taking just class 2-F, now the entire school was involved!   
Any student who didn't show attend was threatened with a  
haircut. Add in the fact that by its very nature the viewing  
would occur in a public place meant that even non school  
attendees could, and probably would, show up?  
  
Muck slowly scanned the park once more. Next to him,  
Godai fidgeted nervously as usual. After the gate incident,  
the two of them had found themselves seconded to the  
diminutive Ms. Hinako as sort of a roving patrol to handle the  
'difficult cases', as the principal put it. Which meant that  
poor Godai found himself far nearer to trouble than he wanted  
to be. Usually, though, the mere sight of 'Typhoon Gajin'  
approaching was enough to stop something before it got out of  
hand, however. His reputation, however, had not yet spread  
beyond the Furinkan grounds...  
  
Kodachi had heard about today's field trip from her  
brother. From her perch in a concealing tree, she'd sighted  
Ranma sitting with that Tendo hussy... clearly needing to be  
rescued. The two teachers standing nearby were of no import,  
no instructor her father hired would dare stand between her  
and her true love! So thinking, she leapt down from her  
perch, only to find her way blocked by a large, red-haired  
gajin. And to add upon said insult, he had the effrontery to  
demand she leave? She paused in confusion, trying to decide  
how best to punish this impertinence.  
  
Ranma's head had snapped up as soon as he heard Kodachi's  
signature cackle, as had the rest of class 2-F. Being  
classmates with three of the Nerima wrecking crew had given  
them all ringside seats for far to much of the insanity that  
was part and parcel of living here; and they all knew what  
that particular sound meant. What no one had expected was to  
see Typhoon Gajin actually CONFRONTING the dreaded Black Rose  
of St. Hebreke's! Ranma's heart sank; he was to far away to  
help, and could only hope that somehow Kodachi would shy away  
from assaulting a teacher. No good, she was presenting him  
with one of her booby trapped bouquets!  
  
What none of the spectators to this event expected was  
for Muck to knock the bouquet clear before catching a face  
full of whatever chemical Kodachi had doctored it with. With  
guile defeated, and her brother and that demented Ms. Hinako  
headed towards them, Kodachi decided to quit the field in  
favor of another day, leaving Muck to have to accept Tatewaki  
Kuno's apologies for his sisters behavior while Hinako  
pestered him with questions about how he'd managed his feat.   
From her seat with the rest of class 3-E, Nabiki Tendo decided  
that she definitely wanted to find as much as she could about  
him... Clearly it would be a very profitable endeavor.  
  
That was when Shampoo made her appearance, and Ryouga as  
well. And since he was concentrating on what was happening  
with Thunders-sensei, the first clue Ranma had of their  
presence was, typically, the moment after Shampoo forcefully  
attached herself to him; which of course triggered a bellow of  
rage from Ryouga about betraying Akane. The rest of class 2-f  
scattered, and wisely so, because the slower moving students  
just barely got clear of the immediate area in time.  
  
Muck whirled at the sound of the shouting and looked as  
if he was about to cry as he saw the fight he'd been trying to  
prevent erupt anyway. Kuno proved his lack of common sense by  
charging INTO the erupting brawl, pledging to protect Akane.   
Godai, who'd finally made his way over to Muck's side, simply  
put a hand on Muck's shoulder in consolation. Even Ms. Hinako  
realized the impossibility of stopping this once it had  
started.  
  
By the time the combat had finally wound down, Akane was  
the last person not knocked out, splashed, or knocked clear  
out of the area by virtue of punting Ranma out of sight once  
it was down to the two of them and Ranma had decided the fight  
was over. But the damage had been done, as the rest of the  
student body had fled; even if they hadn't during the course  
of the fight every single cherry blossom had been knocked from  
the trees! With this fact realized, even the teachers called  
it a day and scattered to their homes, and 'The Great Sakura  
Slaughter' entered the body of urban legends...  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Muck slid a passed out Yotsuya back through the crevice  
to room 4, not particularly bothering to be gentle. When he  
and Godai had returned to Maison Ikkoku, they'd found a  
surprise "You Survived!" party had been laid on in room 5.   
Muck was less than happy about it, but after Akemi explained  
that Kyoko had let them in to set up, Muck felt he really  
didn't have any grounds to complain. It was her husband's  
survival she was celebrating as well, after all. So, he'd put  
his best face on the matter and endured.  
  
Finally, everyone had run out of steam, one way or  
another, and had drifted off. Yotsuya had been the last, and  
he was finally able to slump down in his chair and relax. The  
place was a mess, of course, but tomorrow would be soon enough  
to worry about cleaning it up. Right now he was looking  
forward to a pointed discussion with FRED about this  
supposedly great idea...  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Nabiki Tendo was definitely not in a good mood the next  
school day. She'd set the computer god of Furinkan after  
their enigmatic teacher, only to come up against a brick wall.   
Worse than that, but he'd apparently been detected at it as  
well. He'd passed on the bad news this morning before school,  
apparently not only had he not gotten any information, but  
whoever it was that caught him had erased several other files  
of information he'd been gathering for her as well. Then,  
Thunders-sensei had called her aside at the start of the lunch  
period and had quite pointedly told her to stop digging. Of  
course, she'd put on an affronted look, trying to claim  
innocence, but he hadn't bought it. In fact, he'd raised the  
ante by threatening to talk to her father about her  
inappropriate activities. She doubted her father would really  
understand what it was that Thunders-sensei would be going on  
about, but he'd probably make a scene about it in front of  
everyone later. Nor was she too worried about weathering the  
storm if it did happen. What she didn't want, though, was to  
give a certain pig tailed eating machine any reason to tease  
HER. It was a given that she was the teaser, not the teased,  
and there was no way that she was going to let Ranma turn the  
tables on her if she could avoid it. The only redeeming fact  
about it all was that an unhappy Nabiki could make a lot of  
other people unhappy too, so she decided to go ahead and  
spread the gloom around...  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
"Well, that was a total waste of time. I should have  
known better than to expect to find the answers all written  
out for me."  
  
"What did you expect? Something like the Instant Video  
from Spaceballs? How is someone supposed to have written down  
what we did when we haven't even done it yet?"  
  
"Hasn't anyone ever told you its bad form to use logic to  
win an argument?"  
  
"Nope. But why don't you grab that club... you can burn  
off some of that frustration punting Yotsuya back through the  
wall. He's going to pop through right... about... Now!"  
  
"FORE!!!!!" 


	5. Demands of Honor

Ranma « and Maison Ikkoku are both property of Rumiko  
Takahashi, and the several publishing companies she has sold  
the rights too as well.  
  
Books 1 and 2 can be found at:  
Rangerhq.50megs.com  
Sofaspud.Org, and  
Fanfiction.net  
  
Comments and criticism welcome, E-mail me at starrngr@aol.com;  
Pointless flames will be ignored.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Tales of the Wanderer: Book Three: "Nerima Wandering"  
Chapter 4: "Demands of Honor"  
  
Ranma had to fight an overpowering urge to fidget as he  
stood before the teacher's desk and waited. It had been over  
a week since the disaster in the park, so whatever it was  
couldn't be about that, could it? School wasn't high on his  
list of favorite things to do with his life, but its not like  
he was falling asleep in class, either. Either way, he'd find  
out soon enough... if only Sensei would stop glaring at him  
from over his folded hands and SAY something, already!  
  
Muck leaned back in his chair with a sigh, gaze still  
firmly on Ranma. "Why are you here, Saotome?" he finally  
asked; a question that left Ranma as confused as before.  
  
"Huh? Um, you asked me to stay after class, Sensei!"  
Ranma finally blurted out. This conversation was definitely  
taking a left turn into weird!  
  
"Not that, Saotome. Why are you in school in the first  
place? You rarely complete your homework and you pay precious  
little attention in class. Clearly, you'd rather be somewhere  
else, so why are you here?"  
  
Geez! This was worse than getting into an argument with  
Akane; I think he's determined to take whatever I say the  
wrong way! Fortunately, I don't think he's gonna clobber me  
the way she does. But what does he want? Is he gonna expel  
me or something? Uh oh... he really wants an answer, but what  
to tell him? "Um, no, Sensei. I don't really have anyplace  
else I'd rather be." That's true enough, I guess... sitting  
around the Dojo watching Pops play shogi with old man Tendo  
would get boring really quickly.  
"I see." From the flat tone of his voice, it was clear  
that this was not an acceptable answer. "I would expect more  
effort from someone who attends school because they WANT to be  
here, Saotome."  
  
Aha. That's where he's going with this. Looks like I'm  
about to be bestowed with yet another 'How to you expect to  
succeed in life without schooling' lecture. Heck, maybe Pops  
will teach me how to play... then again, the way he cheats  
he's probably forgotten how. He's probably gonna start  
with...  
  
"Just what are you expecting to do with your life, then?"  
  
Where did that come from? Better give him the party line  
then, just in case it gets back to Pops... "I'm gonna take  
over the Tendo Dojo and teach, Sensei."  
  
"With just a high school education."  
  
"Come on, sensei! This is the Art we're talking about.   
Why would I need a fancy education to teach people the Art?"  
  
Man, am I glad he's not Akane. When she gets that look,  
she's reaching for something to hit me with. "You'd be  
surprised. For another, there's more to operating a dojo than  
just teaching the students, Saotome."  
  
"Like what?" Yeah, I know I'm supposed to treat my  
teachers with respect, but this is getting annoying!  
  
"Well, lets see... keeping the books comes instantly to  
mind. Unless, of course, you actually want Nabiki handling  
them for you..."  
  
Hey, come on here! Nabiki is like family... A family  
member who makes money from selling pictures of me. Maybe he  
does have a point. Is that really the sort of person I want  
handling the money without being able to check up on her?   
"Okay, Sensei. But what does all this have to do with me?"  
  
"Everything, Ranma. You're the one who has to live your  
life. And that means you need to decide what you want to do  
with it, or someone else will make it for you." He does have  
a point there... Kuno's made a laughing stock of himself the  
way he refused to see things right in front of his nose. "For  
example, if you chose to improve your grades, you would have  
the choice of going to college or not." Akane does want to go  
to college, now that I think about it. She's said so a couple  
of times. "But if you don't that choice will have been made  
for you because no college would accept you because of your  
grades." Do I really want Akane to go off to college without  
me?  
  
Muck leaned forward on the desk and rested his head on  
his hands. Ranma was clearly thinking, not paying any  
attention to him anymore; but that was okay. Muck wanted the  
boy to think; you had to consider all the options if you  
wanted to choose the best one, after all. Ranma seemed to  
prefer the inactive choice... allowing others to make them for  
him. But that wasn't going to get Muck out of here, FRED was  
certain about that. Ranma needed to learn how to choose, to  
take control over his own life; otherwise he'd never choose  
one fiancee over another, and Muck would be stuck here. Time  
seemed to take the afternoon off as he contemplated the  
student the other teachers considered the terror of Furinkan;  
the moment seemed to stretch into an eternity before Ranma  
blinked and focused on Muck once more.  
  
"My Pops has a very low disregard for anything which  
doesn't have to do with the Art, you know."  
  
"That would be your father's problem. Its all well and  
good to honor your fathers wishes, but only because that's  
what you choose to do. Otherwise, you let him make the  
choices of your life for you."  
  
Like choosing to take me to a cursed training ground he  
didn't really know anything about... or engaging me to two  
different girls. That's probably the biggest thing that keeps  
coming between me and Akane, too. We both hate having been  
pushed into this by them! "I think I see what you mean,  
sensei. And it's not going to be easy, is it?"  
  
"Considering you spent ten years on a training trip with  
a person who considered the art more important that formal  
schooling? It will be a challenge, Ranma. Anything goes  
Catch-up."  
  
Blue eyes sparkled. "Ranma Saotome never backs down from  
a challenge, Sensei!"  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Ranma blinked in surprise at seeing Akane still waiting  
for him outside Furinkan's front gate. He'd thought for  
certain that she would have gone on home, but here she was,  
waiting for him. And she smiled when she saw him, too! She  
was very cute when she smiled at him; if only he got to see  
this side of her instead of angry, object wielding Akane!  
  
"So, Ranma? What did the teacher want?"  
  
Ranma thought for a second as Akane started walking home  
next to him, before deciding to pretend it wasn't important.   
"Oh, just the standard you need to get your grades up speech.   
Heard it before, and probably will again."  
  
Akane strode in silence next to him for a moment. "He's  
right. If you don't do something about it, you wont get into  
college." She found herself wondering... She'd always planned  
on college herself; she'd planned on taking over the dojo even  
before she'd met Ranma and was determined not to make her  
father's mistakes. Father had concentrated on the art, and on  
teaching. Mother was the one actually running the dojo. She  
balanced the books and made sure students paid on time. That  
was why Akane was going; to learn about everything else she  
needed to know to run a business successfully besides just the  
art.  
  
Ranma found himself watching Akane deep in thought as he  
struggled with his own thoughts on the matter. Still, she  
hadn't scoffed at him when he'd mentioned it to her... "So, do  
you think I can?"  
  
"Of course you can, Baka. You're the great Ranma  
Saotome... you always pull off whatever you claim, eventually.   
To make up for ten years of poor schooling? Why, its anything  
goes catch up!"  
  
Akane took two more paces before she realised Ranma  
wasn't with her. She turned to see him standing there,  
staring at her. "What? What is it Ranma?"  
  
"That's exactly what he said... that it would be a  
challenge to make up for those years. But, he just started  
last month! How could he know about that?"  
  
The two surprised teens just stood and stared at each  
other as that thought sunk in deeper...  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
"Hey, Big sister, can we talk?" Akane's voice came from  
the door. Nabiki gave her little sister a mock glare, but the  
fact was that she wasn't really as busy with her accounts as  
she was pretending to be.  
  
"Sure, come on in," Nabiki assured her. This was a  
welcome distraction; while she was working, Nabiki kept  
flashing back to some of the more emotional encounters of  
earlier. She'd thought passing along some of her anger would  
help. But the way people had looked at her somehow made her  
feel worse? Well, helping Akane always made her feel better.   
And if Ranma was involved, maybe she could figure out a way to  
make some profit that didn't leave her feeling quite so...  
soiled.  
  
Akane fidgeted on the bed for a second, and Nabiki  
started to get impatient; but before Nabiki could snap at her  
to 'spit it out', she did. "Did you... sell... information  
about us to Typhoon Gajin?"  
  
"WHAT?" Nabiki countered. "Why would I do something like  
that after he threatened to shut me down if I didn't stop  
poking into his life?"  
  
"HUH? What are you talking about?"  
  
Nabiki blinked at that. She hadn't really meant to  
mention that to Akane, it had sort of slipped out in her  
irritation at that man. And now, Akane was looking at her  
with... was that disappointment in her eyes? "Yes, I was  
doing some... research into our very own Typhoon Gajin. But,  
he caught my agent and then told me to stop digging or he'd  
take an unhealthy... interest in my side businesses. But no,  
I never sold any information about you or Ranma to him. And  
after this, he wouldn't get any even if he wanted too."  
  
Akane sat without moving, staring at her feet for a long  
moment before meeting Nabiki's gaze again. "But, he said some  
things to Ranma today. Things he shouldn't have known about.   
If he didn't get them from you, how did he know?"  
  
"That is a very good question." One I want the answer to  
as well...  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Muck hummed a rather jovial tune to himself as he  
wandered the Nerima market district. He'd gotten Ranma to  
make at least one choice... to bring up his grades enough to   
get into college if he so desired. The seed was planted, and  
with a bit more nurturing he was certain that the tiny acorn  
of self determination would grow into an oak mighty enough to  
settle this whole fiancee thing once and for all! Once that  
was done, he'd be able to get OUT of this constant disaster  
just waiting to happen! Not even that pessimist FRED would be  
able to argue with this one, so he'd treated himself to a  
bottle (or five) of Sake. It wasn't a good idea to drink on  
an empty stomach, though, so here he was picking up a few  
things to whip up for dinner as soon as he got home. Perhaps  
it was a bit more time consuming doing one's shopping on a  
daily basis, but not even a padlock would keep Yotsuya out of  
his food supplies. Therefore, it was shop daily for dinner or  
go hungry. At that moment, though, the street swayed  
unsteadily under his feet... darn. A bit to much sake and not  
enough food. He really should get something solid in his  
stomach now, unless he wanted to embarrass himself by passing  
out somewhere between here and the Maison...  
  
Providence smiled at him as a pair of salarymen exited  
the shop in front of him, chattering excitedly about the  
quality of their meal. Oh yeah, keep him away from dice, the  
Muckster was on a roll; nothing but lucky number 7's for him!   
Fighting down the swooning of his inner ear, he pushed off  
from the wall that he was leaning on without noticing and  
strolled though the door of the shop; never bothering to look  
up and see the sign above that read 'Cat Caf‚'. His bemused  
detachment caused him not to really notice the chineese boy  
who seated him, either. But when a very familiar voice  
suddenly piped up in his ear, THAT got his attention.  
  
"Nihao!" A youthful but sultry voice chirruped almost in  
his ear. "You ready to order? Or like something to drink  
first?" Suddenly sober, Muck's eyes snapped to the right and  
focused on the speaker, confirming that he probably had  
excellent reason to panic. Yes, it was the same purple haired  
beauty he remembered from the White Dragon of Macross City,  
only younger; Muck guesstimated her age at about 16, tops. Of  
course, her young age didn't make her any less of a potential  
threat... Muck realized he'd better answer, as she was getting  
impatient.  
  
"Coffee, please. Black. I'll be ready to order then,"  
he declared, managing to keep an cheery tone of voice.   
Satisfied, Shampoo turned back to the kitchen while he slumped  
in relief as he studied the menu more closely, never noticing  
the wise old eyes that had studied him intently.  
  
A much calmer Muck looked up as Shampoo returned,  
carrying both his coffee and a bowl, which she set in front of  
him. "Um? This... is exactly what I was about to order. How  
did you know?"  
  
"Great Grandmother did. She very wise, no?" Shampoo  
giggled in response, enjoying the stranger's discomfort.  
  
"More like very strange," Muck murmured to himself before  
agreeing with her. Once she left, he concentrated on his food  
to further mask any outward signs of discomfort, fully  
intending to make his escape as soon as possible. From what  
he recalled, Cologne was very much the wise old woman three  
steps ahead of everyone else. For her to know what he was  
probably going to order was unsettling, but certainly seemed  
probable. That left the even more unsettling question of why?   
As far as anyone here should know, he was just another damn  
gajin! So why would a senior member of a very reclusive  
people...  
  
"Because you were given something. Something that was  
hidden away a long time ago for its own safety," a wizened  
voice informed him from across the table, brutally surprising  
him. It was enough to cause him to fall over backwards in his  
chair, but at least he kept enough composure to avoid trying  
to climb a wall in sheer terror. Muck felt the blush burning  
his cheeks as he righted his chair and sat back down; most of  
his attention was on wrestling down the combat impulses coming  
from the robotic side of his now dual nature. Cologne simply  
sat and watched as he did, nodding to herself.  
  
Finally Muck was able to convince his alternate self that  
full combat mode was possibly the worst option they could  
choose. Before it settled into quiescence, though, it made  
one final suggestion, one that Muck was very much in agreement  
with; Sun Tzu had definitely understood the power of a good  
bluff. "I haven't got a clue as to what you're talking about,  
Ma'am," only to find himself on the receiving end of yet  
another version of 'The Look'. A version which had been  
perfected over a hundred years... It was unnerving, and muck  
was barely able to fight of the urge to start confessing to  
whatever it was that he might have done.  
  
Cologne found herself raising an eyebrow at her visitor's  
antics. He didn't realize it, but for someone who knew the  
true subtleties of body language his thoughts were as apparent  
as if he screamed them at the top of his lungs. "You bear the  
icons of the stars, wanderer," she informed him, nodding  
towards his left forearm. "It's signature shows clearly in  
you're aura." She appraised his disbelief, and decided that  
the only way past it was to shatter it completely. "Who do  
you think gave it to the Mujandeen for safekeeping?" That  
shattered Muck's disbelief completely, as the robot side of  
his brain accessed the memories in question and replayed a  
forgotten conversation between himself and the headsman of  
that fierce tribe of warriors. It was shortly after he'd  
claimed the Star Shield and its sword for his own, and the  
headsman had told him the tale of how it had been entrusted  
into their care by the only other tribe of warriors to earn  
their respect.  
  
Cologne nodded to Muck once more as the refocusing of his  
eyes indicated that his attention had returned to the outside  
world instead of his memories. Nodding to the still confused  
stranger, she hopped from her chair to her staff. "We will  
speak again, wanderer... once you've had time to digest what  
you've just learned. There is still much for you to know  
about the icons you bear," Cologne informed him calmly before  
using her staff to bounce back to the kitchen. Muck shook his  
head in amazement before looking down and realizing that she'd  
also swapped his empty bowl of ramen for his bill. As he  
gathered his groceries and left, he half expected to see Rod  
Sterling just outside the door; welcoming him to the Twilight  
Zone, but it was the same street he'd wandered down in a less  
sober state. Settling himself, he headed back to the train  
station; if anyone could make sense out of this evenings  
events, it would be FRED.  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Ranma lay on the roof of the Tendo home and stared up  
into the slowly darkening sky. He wasn't about to admit it to  
anyone, but once the initial flush of accepting his sensei's  
challenge to bring up his grades had faded, he'd felt concern.   
For all the references to anything goes catch-up, he'd  
accepted a challenge that really had little to do with the Art  
itself. He'd spent eleven long years with only the occasional  
periods of formal schooling; usually only when they'd been in  
one place long enough for the truant officers to notice him  
and forced Pops to enroll him. Could he make up for that  
deficit? Would this be the challenge that finally defeated  
the un-defeatable Ranma Saotome?  
  
Ranma was so wrapped up in these thoughts that he never  
noticed Akane joining him on the roof until she spoke.   
"Ranma? Dinner is ready..." When Ranma didn't instantly bolt  
for the dinning room, Akane knew something was bothering  
him... something big enough that he wasn't thinking about the  
black hole he called a stomach! Akane was certain she knew  
just what that something was, too. "You're worried you're in  
over your head, aren't you?"  
  
"Aww, geez, Akane! What makes you think..." Ranma made  
the mistake of looking Akane in the eye. In the face of that  
gently hurt look, he found himself backing down. "Umm...  
yeah, kinda. Pops never was big on formal schooling while we  
were training."  
  
"And you think this might be to much for the mighty Ranma  
Saotome?" Akane prompted after a long silence.  
  
"Well... Umm... yeah. I mean... It's like... why are  
you smiling like that?"  
  
Akane gently shook her head before answering. "It's not  
that important, Ranma. It's just I've never seen you act  
so... human before. It's a nice change from Saotome of the  
incredible Ego, that's all."  
  
"Who are you, and what have you done with the real  
Akane?" Ranma suddenly blurted, making a warding gesture.  
  
"OOOH, you idiot!" Akane growled, somehow pulling a  
mallet from her clothes. However, she continued talking, no,  
yelling instead of swinging. "Here I come up here trying to  
help you with your problem and all you can do is insult me the  
same way you always do! Is it so hard to believe that some of  
us actually care about you? That we WANT to help you? I  
guess it must be Mr. I'm the greatest in the whole wide world  
so why the hell should I need any help!"  
  
Ranma took a cautious step back, trying to widen the  
distance between them without having Akane swing at him.   
"Then why are you holding that mallet?"  
  
"Because instead of listening when I was about to offer  
to help you; you started insulting me instead, you IDIOT!"  
Akane raved, finally hurling the mallet at the end to  
punctuate her rage before dropping to the roof in tears.   
Ranma blinked in surprise, because she hadn't thrown it at  
him; she'd just thrown it off into empty air on a trajectory  
that wouldn't have come anywhere near him.  
  
"You came up here to offer to help me."  
  
"Right."  
  
"With my schoolwork."  
  
"No, with how to act like a girl. Of course with your  
schoolwork!"  
  
Ranma found himself sitting next to his sobbing fiancee  
without ever consciously deciding too, trying to console her.   
"Help me how?"  
  
"By offering to tutor you in exchange for lessons in the  
art, you idiot!" Akane blurted between sobs. "But now it's  
not going to happen because you went and made me mad at you  
and you probably hate me again!"  
  
"Again? Geez, Akane! What makes you think I hated you  
in the first place?"  
  
"Be, be, because you're always calling me uncute, and  
klutzy, and... and... and..."  
  
"It not you. Its this whole arranged marriage thing,  
Akane. When I marry you, I want it to be because I want to,  
not because of some half baked idea our idiot parents came up  
with."  
  
"Ranma..." Suddenly Akane was no longer crying, but her  
voice was still unsteady as she gave him a penetrating look.   
"Did you mean that? Just now, when you said when, not if you  
marry me?"  
  
Ranma picked his jaw up off the floor, and thought back  
about what he'd said. "Yes," he finally replied, gently, "I  
guess I did."  
  
"Oh Ranma!" Akane exulted, grabbing him with the intent  
to hug him tightly. Unfortunately, in doing so, she  
overbalanced them and the young couple tumbled from the roof.   
Somehow, Ranma managed to twist them enough that he was on the  
bottom when they slammed into the garden below. As if on cue,  
Kasumi stuck her head out of the kitchen.  
  
"Ah, there you two are. Better hurry, I won't be able to  
keep Mr. Saotome out of the food much longer!" 


	6. Storm Warnings

Ranma ½ and Maison Ikkoku are both property of Rumiko Takahashi,  
  
and the several publishing companies she has sold the rights too  
  
as well.  
  
Books 1 and 2 can be found at:  
  
Rangerhq.50megs.com  
  
Sofaspud.Org, and  
  
Fanfiction.net  
  
Comments and criticism welcome, E-mail me at starrngr@aol.com;  
  
Pointless flames will be ignored.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Tales of the Wanderer: Book Three: "Nerima Wandering"  
  
Chapter 5: "Storm Warnings"  
  
Submitted for your consideration: A seemingly normal high  
  
school on the outskirts of Tokyo, Japan. Looking closer, you  
  
notice something is wrong; although it is a school day, the yard  
  
is empty of its usual crowd of students socializing before class.   
  
They can sense the growing unease you have not; because, as you  
  
are about to find out, they are unwitting residents of... the  
  
Furinkan Zone.  
  
No, the Furinkan High schoolyard was not a safe place to  
  
socialize this morning, the grapevine informing new arrivals that  
  
for some reason 'Typhoon Gajin' was on the warpath. Kuno, for  
  
example, had already received detention after having been caught  
  
waiting inside the main gate in his kendo garb; accused of  
  
planning on challenging one or both of his true loves. What  
  
wasn't known was why; none of the students could have known that  
  
Muck was suffering from a particularly intense hangover. As  
  
always, it had seemed like a good idea at the time...  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
"Then I get hit with this hammer, from out of nowhere!" Muck  
  
told Akemi, who was sitting next to him at the bar proper of the  
  
Cha Cha Maru. From the slight slurring of his speech, it was  
  
clear that he'd been there for a while. "And that's what brings  
  
me here." Master tut-tuted in commiseration with Muck's story as  
  
he placed a fresh drink in front of him. As he did, Master's  
  
eyes suddenly focused beyond them, then gestured to Akemi.  
  
"Customers, dear. Time to earn your pay again." Akemi  
  
stuck her tounge out at Master, but her smile indicated no malice  
  
in the act, then slipped off the barstool and headed to greet the  
  
new arrivals.  
  
"I think she likes you," Muck stated, causing Master to  
  
blink at the seeming non-sequitur.  
  
"Maybe," Master replied after a long second. "She seemed  
  
interested, right after Yusaku and Kyoko got engaged; but I think  
  
it was because she'd been after him herself at the time." Master  
  
sighed before continuing, "I wanted to be certain that she liked  
  
me for who I am, not because she was looking for comfort after  
  
losing to Kyoko..."  
  
"And you waited to long," Muck concluded for him. Master  
  
nodded in silent agreement, turning his attention to the two new  
  
arrivals who had seated themselves next to Muck at the bar. Muck  
  
gave them a quick once over, then froze, the ice-water sensation  
  
once again flushing the warmth of the liquor from his system.   
  
Slowly, he gave them a confirming glance. Tall, black hair,  
  
droopy moustache, Brown Gi; expression bordering on hysterical  
  
tears... yup, definitely Soun Tendo. The shorter, pudgy guy in a  
  
while gi and head-scarf on the other side of Soun could only be  
  
Genma Saotome. Muck immediately clamped down on his hind-brains  
  
suggestion to run away as fast as he could... if for no other  
  
reason than he didn't want to draw attention to himself. He was  
  
able to quell the initial wave of panic, the one that wanted him  
  
to run for the hills as fast as possible, by reminding himself  
  
that they really were mostly harmless. They also tended to talk  
  
a lot, so all he had to do was sit there and encourage them, and  
  
he'd have the perfect alibi for knowing what he already knew!   
  
The way they were all but dislocating their arms to pat  
  
themselves on the back gave him the perfect way into the  
  
conversation, too...  
  
Catching Master's eye, he gestured to the pair sitting next  
  
to him, indicating that he'd buy their next bottle of Sake.   
  
Which allowed Muck to explain that it was to congratulate them  
  
over their children's engagement; which, as expected, allowed him  
  
into the conversation. And into the round of Toasts they were  
  
proposing to each other's brilliance; after which it started to  
  
getting rather drunk out...  
  
Which left him feeling rather... delicate this morning, what  
  
with the very photons that illuminated the day bouncing off his  
  
skull like drumsticks on a snare. Which was why he'd summarily  
  
given Kuno detention after catching the senior lurking just  
  
inside the front gates. He supposed it was possible that the boy  
  
really wasn't laying in wait for Ranma and Akane... but he didn't  
  
think that was the case. Thinking hurt this morning, even after  
  
the asprin had kicked in; best to do as little of that as  
  
possible until after the hangover was over...  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Ranma closed his eyes and let the warmth of the late spring  
  
sun wash over him. He'd never expected that schoolwork could be  
  
as demanding as the Art, in its own way, but it was. Prior to  
  
this, school had been more of a vacation from the rigors of his  
  
daily training with Pops; but as the morning's lessons had  
  
progressed, he became more aware of just how severe his present  
  
educational shortcomings were. Even with Akane's help, he was  
  
worried if he could keep his rash vow of the day before. And  
  
their fathers only made the situation worse; Pop's didn't like  
  
the idea of spending so much time on something that wasn't  
  
directly related to the Art, while old man Tendo had broken into  
  
tears of joy at seeing the two of them at the same table without  
  
bickering. Fortunately Tendo had dragged Pops off to celebrate  
  
with a drink; allowing the two work in peace... until he'd become  
  
frustrated. The resulting fight had pretty much ended the  
  
evening.  
  
Still, Ranma had never failed in a task he'd set his mind to  
  
before, and he wasn't about to start now. At least he still had  
  
the better part of a year to work with. And it had been nice  
  
working with Akane, at least up until the fight started. Yes,  
  
today was a pretty good day. About the only thing that could  
  
make it better would be...  
  
"Ranma Saotome! I, Kouh-Li Mioh, challenge you in the name  
  
of The Excessively Silly school of Martial Arts! Stand and  
  
defend yourself!"  
  
... A challenge. Ranma opened his eyes and evaluated his  
  
opponent; then closed them again and grinned. "I'm Ranma, and I  
  
accept your challenge. Be outside the front gates today at  
  
three."  
  
His challenger bristled at that. "I am not some flunky to  
  
be put off, Saotome! I will fight you here and now and prove  
  
that my school is superior!"  
  
"I suggest you reconsider," Nabiki interjected into this  
  
discussion, as she walked up to one side. "School rules forbid  
  
fighting on campus."  
  
"And who are you to enforce such a decision?"  
  
"I don't," Nabiki gloated, pointing at someone behind Kouh-  
  
Li. "He does."  
  
Kouh-Li turned, and found himself face to face with what  
  
could only be some sort of Onii! Emerald hard Irises were  
  
surounded by bloodshot eyes and a floridly red complection that  
  
seemed to almost blend into fiery red hair and moustach. The  
  
throbbing vein on its forehead seemed to promise great pain if  
  
its edicts were crossed; and Kouh-Li decided that it would be  
  
best to wait, and quickly removed himself from the Furinkan  
  
schoolyard. Ranma opened his eyes again and looked warily at  
  
Thunders-sensei, but 'Typhoon Gaijin' merely nodded, first to  
  
Ranma, then to Nabiki, before moving on with his rounds of the  
  
schoolyard.  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Akane looked up at her would be Fiancee and sighed. Nabiki  
  
and the school grapevine had been up to form, so the whole school  
  
knew about the upcoming challenge well before school had let out  
  
back at three. At 3:10, Ranma had met his challenger on the  
  
field of battle, just outside the school gates, by 3:12 it was  
  
over. Clearly, Ranma was disappointed... as had been most of the  
  
school. For all his bluster Kouh-Li had not been much of a  
  
challenge, his Curl-Li maneuver had reduced the assembled student  
  
body to laughter when they'd seen it; Ranma hadn't needed any but  
  
the most basic techniques to claim victory. Ranma was so  
  
disappointed that he'd even brushed her off when she suggested  
  
taking Ukyou up on her offer of a victory okonomiyaki! That had  
  
stunned the gathered student body even more than the easy  
  
victory, because Ranma's apatite was just as legendary as  
  
everything else about him...  
  
This bothered her. She couldn't decide why it bothered her  
  
so much either, which bothered her even more! She couldn't even  
  
snipe at him to try and break him out of this mood, because he  
  
just kept moping along atop that fence and didn't seem to hear a  
  
word she said! She was ready to clobber him with something...  
  
ANYTHING, just to get his mind out of the rut it was in, but she  
  
doubted even that would work, so the pair just trudged in silence  
  
on their path back to the Tendo Dojo.  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Muck stopped just outside the door to the Cat Café one last  
  
time. Truth be told, he'd rather be anywhere but here, yet the  
  
tantalizing hints that Cologne had dropped yesterday demanded  
  
further explanation. She clearly knew much more about the Star  
  
Shield and it's companion Sword than he did. He'd received them  
  
from the Mujadeen, a nomadic tribe three fica back and almost two  
  
years ago, subjectively speaking... which really was the only way  
  
to measure the time when you can jump between dimensions. He'd  
  
heard their tales about it even before he'd wound up bearing the  
  
Star Icons; how they had been placed with the Mujadeen to keep  
  
them safe from all save the one for whom they were meant.   
  
However, the Mujadeen were protectors, not instructors; they had  
  
been more interested in the who should claim the icons rather  
  
than the what could they do, leaving him with little clue about  
  
what the Icons might do.  
  
And that was what had brought him back here. Given his  
  
druthers, he'd have preferred to remain as far as possible from  
  
the general insanity and random destructiveness that surrounded  
  
the central players of this fractured fairy tail. Clearly,  
  
however, a greater power dictated that this was not to be the  
  
case; he wasn't going to find out anything until he stopped  
  
stalling and went inside!  
  
The inside was agreeably deserted save for the ancient elder  
  
herself. Given how popular the café had been the day before Muck  
  
could only surmise that Cologne had deliberately arranged for it  
  
to be so; a conclusion he felt was proved when neither Shampoo  
  
nor Mouse came out at the sound of the door-chime. Not really  
  
surprising, he decided, since from her tone the day before  
  
Cologne had implied that knowledge of the Icons was a closely  
  
held Joketsuzoku secret, ergo it would be in her best interests  
  
to keep prying ears away from this conversation... and Cologne  
  
always had the best interests of the Joketsuzoku in mind.  
  
Fifteen minutes later he was back on the street. As  
  
promised, Cologne had provided him a scroll of everything the  
  
Joketsuzoku knew about the Icons... in Chinese. To gain her help  
  
in translating and learning how to use them would require him to  
  
help her snag Ranma for Shampoo. Since Muck knew full well that  
  
his getting out of this fica depended on Ranma making a choice of  
  
his own free will, this created an impasse between himself and  
  
Cologne. Before he'd left, though, she had passed on a warning.   
  
In her younger days, a stranger had come to the tribe and stolen  
  
several of their ancient treasures; she was certain that this  
  
person had been after the Icons as well. Only the fact that  
  
they'd long been sent away had kept the thief from stealing them.  
  
Muck was sure the warning was meant to bring him back, to  
  
seek her help in guarding the icons in return for his helping  
  
her. That he'd have no other choice. On the other hand, Muck  
  
did feel like he had a couple of secret weapons up his sleeve  
  
that she didn't know about. FRED, certainly; his dual nature as  
  
Star Ranger he was less certain about. Who knew just what she  
  
could tell from an aura... or if she knew what she was seeing in  
  
his case. Well, chasing that thought around in circles wouldn't  
  
get him anywhere, he decided. Getting back to Maison Ikkoku and  
  
letting FRED take a crack at translating the scroll would be a  
  
better use of his time in the long run.  
  
Several blocks away, the demented Happosai grand master of  
  
the Anything Goes style, felt a strange tingle brush across his  
  
senses. It was faint and unusual, but felt perhaps familiar. He  
  
tried to concentrate on where he had felt it before; which caused  
  
him to stop in the middle of the street and allow the mob of  
  
outraged women with intent to pulverize to catch up with him. As  
  
the women stalked away, retrieved unmentionables in hand, he  
  
realized what it was he'd felt. The Icons might have slipped  
  
through his fingers this time, but he had their scent now, and it  
  
was only a matter of time before he could get his hands on  
  
them...  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Ranma was still on Akane's mind that evening as she jumped  
  
out of her window; grabbing the edge of the roof and using her  
  
momentum to swing herself into a back flip that landed her on her  
  
feet. She hadn't been able to do that before Ranma arrived; to  
  
be honest she wouldn't even have considered doing it before he  
  
arrived! Unless one had enough control over one's abilities to  
  
leap straight up there, though, it was the fastest way to get up  
  
onto the roof.  
  
Ranma had kept his word after they'd gotten home, but their  
  
workout together had lasted less than five minutes before she  
  
called it off. Ranma had clearly still been brooding over the  
  
lack of challenge from earlier; he'd been so distracted that she  
  
was afraid one of them would get hurt, and the way Ranma had been  
  
moping it could have been HIM for once! It certainly would have  
  
been nice to see Ranma get a bit of comeuppance, but it would be  
  
even better when she was able to do it when he was really trying.   
  
Sure, that was it, not that she felt attracted to the dumb  
  
jerk...  
  
Ranma didn't look to have moved since he'd leapt up to the  
  
rooftop after she'd called off the training session; this was  
  
Ranma, though, so she knew he had to realize she was here...   
  
"Ranma, Dinner is ready."  
  
"Uh huh. Go on, Akane. I'm not... GUYURK?!?!?!"  
  
From Ranma's point of view, it was if Akane had suddenly  
  
TELEPORTED in front of him, and was actually HOLDING him by the  
  
front of his shirt high enough that his feet were off the ground.   
  
She was surrounded by a bright red aura that screamed anger and  
  
her fist was cocked and ready to deal what could be a lethal blow  
  
as she demanded "Who are you and what have you done to Ranma!!!"  
  
Ranma had been so deep in thought about the farce of a  
  
challenge from earlier that even as his brain went to shift gears  
  
into combat mode something happened that had never happened  
  
before... His 'clutch' burned out, leaving his brain (and hence  
  
his mouth) spinning in neutral!  
  
Akane, of course, took the babbling to mean that she'd  
  
caught the imposter totally of guard. It was probably that idiot  
  
from this afternoon, He'd obviously not done ANY homework on his  
  
victim or he'd known that the real Ranma Never, EVER passed up  
  
Kasumi's cooking! Her eyes narrowed and her fist drew slightly  
  
further back... At the moment she wanted nothing more than to  
  
pour out her anger, her hatred and all her sorrow into this jerk  
  
with a single cleansing blast of... "GI-FUN!"  
  
The sound of her cry managed what the earlier shock did not,  
  
to snap Ranma out of his confusion into full out battle mode.   
  
Time seemed to crawl to a stand-still as Akane's chi-swathed fist  
  
slowly moved forward while Ranma reached out and put one hand on  
  
her wrist and the other on her opposite shoulder, giving him the  
  
leverage he needed to twist forwards out of her grasp and drop  
  
below the strike, throwing himself into a tumbling forward roll  
  
as he did. The blow missed by the slimmest of margins, the chi  
  
gathered around her fist raising the hairs on his back as it  
  
passed. In fact, as her fist reached full extension, the chi  
  
leapt from it and continued on in a straight line to demolish a  
  
neighbor's chimney! The two teens just stood there, looking  
  
across at the results for a timeless moment. Unfortunately, said  
  
moment was broken when Ranma's common sense failed to re-boot  
  
with the rest of his brain, and he quiped "Gifun? Someone's been  
  
watching to many American..."  
  
Just what Akane had been watching to much of went  
  
unproclaimed as Akane landed a left hook that sent Ranma straight  
  
down into the koi pond.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
The meal which followed managed to surpass even that first  
  
meal with the Saotome's for surreality; for once Ranma was not  
  
shoveling food into his mouth as fast as inhumanly possible. He  
  
consumed his food with a speed no faster than any other person  
  
might, looking over at Akane with a gaze that was an equal mix of  
  
surprise, pride, and admiration. Genma took this as a sign that  
  
his son was not paying attention, but his attempts at Ranma's  
  
food were, if anything, even less successful than ever before.   
  
Which meant that there was something Ranma knew that Nabiki  
  
didn't; a situation she found less than tolerable. By exercising  
  
considerable restraint, she managed to hold out until dinner was  
  
almost over... no need to seem too interested, after all.  
  
In fact, best to use an oblique approach... "I don't suppose  
  
you have that $5000 yen I loaned you the other week?"  
  
Ranma's reddening face and downcast expression told her that  
  
she'd hooked him again. "Ah, er... no," he mumbled, sinking down  
  
low before muttering; "isupposeyouwantmetoposeagaintopayitoff."  
  
"Well, I suppose that is possible. But, since I'm feeling  
  
generous, I'll forgive this particular debt if you'll just tell  
  
me what you're feeling so smug about."  
  
"Aww, its nothing major; Akane managed a chi blast just  
  
before dinner." The silence resulting from the collective face  
  
fault following that pronouncement was quickly banished by chaos  
  
as Genma and Soun began dancing together in excitement while  
  
Kasumi and Nabiki pelted questions at Ranma.  
  
"Geez, why is everyone making such a big deal about this?"  
  
Ranma finally demanded, managing to break through the hubbub.   
  
"Sure, it's great, but Akane's always been pretty good. It was  
  
really only a matter of time. Besides, how is it my fault that  
  
the one emotion she feels strongest is righteous indignation?"  
  
Causing everyone to face fault again, except for Akane who,  
  
rather predictably, hit Ranma with a mallet...  
  
* * * * * * * *  
  
Ranma and Akane were coming back down the stairs with their  
  
schoolwork when they heard the telltale sounds of their fathers  
  
talking to a visitor. Since in the past this had usually meant  
  
some kind of trouble for either one or both of them, this aroused  
  
both curiosity and caution. As they quietly made their way down  
  
the hall to the family room, the visitor's voice became clear;  
  
causing them to look at each other with concern. What was he  
  
doing here? In silent agreement, they started to eavesdrop on the  
  
conversation.  
  
"The why is easy enough, Tendo-san. I do recall mentioning  
  
that I was a school teacher, correct?"  
  
"Yes..."  
  
"I don't remember if I said where, but the where is here.   
  
Furinkan, to be specific."  
  
"Ah! Indeed, much becomes apparent."  
  
"Indeed, Saotome-san. Given the general level of ability of  
  
the more... energetic of the student body, I am seeking lessons  
  
to... improve my chances of surviving the year."  
  
"Hrrrm. I must admit some trepidation, Thunders-san. To be  
  
honest, teaching reminds me most painfully of my wife..." Soun  
  
trailed off into the sort of silence that the teens knew was a  
  
full blown hysterics attack just waiting for a trigger.  
  
"However, I believe we might have a solution, Tendo. You  
  
see, Thunders-san, we hope our children will take over the dojo  
  
in time. If you don't have any objections due to their age, I  
  
believe we can accommodate your request?"  
  
"That would be most acceptable, Saotome-san."  
  
Ranma and Akane exchanged a worried glance. Knowing their  
  
fathers, this could just as easily be yet another plan to help  
  
'encourage' them... However, the sounds of someone standing put  
  
that thought on hold, causing them to step out into the doorway  
  
to avoid being caught.  
  
"Daijobou, Thunders-sensei. We were not expecting to see  
  
you here. Are we in some sort of trouble?" the two asked,  
  
feigning innocence.  
  
"No, not at all. Rather, I have come seeking lessons in the  
  
art."  
  
Soun's gaze cycled quickly between Thunders, Ranma, and  
  
Akane several times before the words finally came. "Sensei? You  
  
never mentioned our children were your students..."  
  
"You never asked, Tendo-san."  
  
Genma burst into laughter at that. "He has a point! We  
  
didn't ask! Still, this won't be a problem for you?"  
  
"Not at all, Saotome-san. In fact, one could say that my  
  
close exposure to Ranma and Akane has given me a most... unique  
  
appreciation of their level of skill."  
  
With Ranma stood rooted to the spot by the sinking feeling  
  
in his mid-section; it was Akane who seized on the one straw that  
  
might get them out of this situation. "Father? Shouldn't we at  
  
least determine his level of ability before accepting him as a  
  
student?"  
  
"Hmm, your daughter does have a point, Tendo-san. Perhaps I  
  
should withdraw with them to the dojo?"  
  
"Yes, yes, by all means... But I'm certain that we'll be  
  
able to conclude this deal successfully..."   
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Ranma gave his prospective student one last visual appraisal  
  
before turning to Akane, raising an eyebrow in silent question.  
  
"He's definitely a most gaijin brawler."  
  
"Which he readily admitted at the start."  
  
"He's well... Old. Even with the promise he shows I doubt  
  
he'd be able to learn our most advanced techniques"  
  
"But he doesn't ask for that. Just to learn what we can  
  
teach him."  
  
"Ooooh, all right then. I'm just not sure that this isn't  
  
another wild plan on the part of both our fathers."  
  
"Why not ask him?"  
  
"Thunders-san, why do you want to study the art... and  
  
especially why with us?"  
  
Muck raised his head and met the inquiring gaze of the two  
  
teens. "Because I need to learn what you have to teach,  
  
Senseis."  
  
Ranma glanced at Akane before taking up the line of  
  
questioning himself. "Nice evasion, but why do you need to learn  
  
from us? Did our fathers put you up to this?"  
  
Muck's even gaze stared back at Ranma. "No, they did not.   
  
As for the why, well, this is the answer..." As his voice  
  
trailed off, Muck was on his feet in a single, smooth motion, his  
  
left arm drawing back in a throwing motion. As the arm came  
  
forward, Muck mumbled something and a yellow streak left his arm;  
  
the streak caromed several times off the walls of the dojo before  
  
Muck caught it once more, the glow fading to reveal a round  
  
shield embossed with an eight pointed star. "Sorry to startle  
  
you two, but I needed to make certain that there wouldn't be  
  
any... outside ears to this part of the conversation. This was  
  
once intrusted to the Joketsuzoku, who entrusted it to someone  
  
else before it could be stolen from them, along with their  
  
underwear. That someone else entrusted it to me; but the thief  
  
is still out there, and would love to get his perverted hands on  
  
it. I need to learn as much as I can, to defend it and myself  
  
from him."  
  
"Why not the old ghoul?"  
  
"Because her price was too high. She demanded my assistance  
  
in certain... marital matters." Muck settled once more into  
  
sieza, slipping the shield back onto his left arm where it  
  
disappeared once more.  
  
This provoked another startled look between the two teens  
  
before they returned their gaze to Muck. "You said no?"  
  
"I said no. As far as I am concerned, whomever Ranma  
  
marries is a non issue... But I feel that is Ranma's choice to  
  
make, and Ranma's alone."  
  
"And the person he's marrying doesn't have any say in the  
  
matter?" Akane demanded angrily.  
  
"Only that it is mutual between them."  
  
"Oh," Akane replied, mollified by the answer.  
  
"There are other... concerns," observed Ranma.  
  
"Two major ones, certainly," agreed Muck. "As to the first,  
  
I agree that it is... unwise to train under the roof of the very  
  
person who wants this for his own. Fortunately, I believe that  
  
with my position we would be able to use the Furinkan grounds  
  
after school. As to the second, I will gladly pay the going  
  
rate; since I expect that Nabiki will claim that for the  
  
household funds, however, I offer this in addition... My  
  
assistance. As long as it would not break the law, or any school  
  
rules; ask, and I will do what I can."   
  
"Tutoring if we get stuck?"  
  
"Most definitely."  
  
"Deal." 


	7. The Calm Before

Ranma ½ and Maison Ikkoku are both property of Rumiko  
  
Takahashi, and the several publishing companies she has sold  
  
the rights to as well.  
  
Books 1 and 2 can be found at:  
  
rangerhq.50megs.com  
  
fanfiction.net and  
  
rec.arts.anime.creative  
  
Comments and criticism welcome, E-mail me at starrngr@aol.com;  
  
Pointless flames will be ignored.  
  
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++  
  
Tales of the Wanderer: Book Three: "Nerima Wandering"  
  
Chapter 6: "The Calm Before"  
  
Kocho Kuno was in his office, and all was right with the  
  
world as he stood at the window and surveyed his domain.   
  
Miscreancy was at an all time low since the arrival of 'Typhoon  
  
Gaijin'; the only fly in the ointment being that Thunders,  
  
knowing what would probably happen to them, refused to send  
  
students to him unless the offense was severe enough to actually  
  
merit it, depriving him of his favorite pastime of handing out  
  
really bad haircuts. Even his son had finally gotten it through  
  
his thick head that one did not ignore the Typhoon lightly. The  
  
man was depressingly honorable, though. He only came down hard  
  
on the real miscreants... and was willing to give a student the  
  
benefit of the doubt until proven otherwise. Personally, Kocho  
  
was surprised that Nabiki hadn't wound up in deeper trouble yet;  
  
although that was probably because she worked very hard at not  
  
getting caught. Shaking his head, he pulled the curtains closed  
  
before turning on the sunlamp and settling into his beach-chair.   
  
The day was still young; even if he didn't get a victim to...   
  
counsel this afternoon, at least his tan would be nice and dark!  
  
Outside, life was going on as usual. Lunch period was far  
  
enough along that everyone had bought whatever food they were  
  
going to; Ukyou was cleaning her portable grill before settling  
  
down to eat her own lunch when she heard the soft cough she'd  
  
been fearing, yet praying for.  
  
"Hi Ran-chan!" she brightly chirped, trying her best to  
  
hide the sinking feeling in her middle; She knew he'd been  
  
really upset over what she'd done at the wedding, and feared this  
  
had been the last straw.  
  
Ranma winced, realizing at once that this was going to be  
  
even harder than he'd already imagined; he also knew that the  
  
only way out of this was through the other side. "Yeah. Hi.   
  
You might wanna hold off on the Ran-chans till you've heard  
  
everythin' tho." Seeing her face fall, his stomach went and  
  
tightened itself into a knot tighter than the worst Akane's  
  
cooking had ever done. The urge to use the Saotome secret  
  
technique was overwhelming; but wasn't going to solve anything  
  
this time. The point of running was to give one enough time to  
  
think up another solution; but no amount of thinking was ever  
  
going to come up with an answer to this one! Even facing Saffron  
  
hadn't been as hard as this, he realized as he mutely stood there  
  
for a second, bumping his index fingers together. It took every  
  
bit of the discipline and resolve he'd ever learned to force the  
  
words from his lips, and still they came out as a barely audible  
  
mumble.  
  
"I'm sorry, but I couldn't understand you, sugar," Ukyou  
  
prompted, a faint hope still wavering inside her pounding heart.   
  
Neither noticed the crowd that had started to gather around them,  
  
nor did they notice Nabiki and her cronies somehow materialize  
  
between them and the crowd, keeping them away from the  
  
discussion. And as the crowd gathered, much like storm clouds on  
  
the horizon, this drew the approach of the Typhoon... Who, on  
  
seeing what was happening, simply nodded at Nabiki and changed  
  
course.  
  
As usual with such a journey, it was the first step that was  
  
the hardest, so Ranma was better able to articulate himself this  
  
time; "I... I wanna apologize for the way I've been acting  
  
since... well... you know."  
  
Ukyou's heart soared at this; he was apologizing! He was  
  
forgiving her for what most would feel was the ultimate in  
  
unforgivable! He really loved her... Then she caught sight of  
  
his eyes. No.... NO!!!! Trembling inside she found herself  
  
voicing... "But..."  
  
"But. I'm... I'm sorry, Ukyou," Ranma sagged to the  
  
ground, drained by this more than any challenge he'd ever fought.   
  
Ukyou found herself likewise drug down by the heaviness in her  
  
heart; the two teens coming to rest back to back, staring out  
  
into space, not noticing the crowd held at bay. In a strange  
  
way, this breaking of the line of sight somehow made it easier  
  
for Ranma to continue. "It wasn't the wedding. It made me  
  
realize something though... You're the one best memory of my  
  
childhood. My... my best friend."  
  
"But not your wife," Ukyou finished for him, the quavering  
  
of her voice confirming what the shaking of her back against his  
  
had already told him. Ukyou was crying. He'd never wanted to  
  
hurt her... that was why he'd put it off for so long, dammit!   
  
She deserved to be happy... Ranma hated himself, and hoped that  
  
someday he'd be able to see her smile again.  
  
"But not my wife," he confirmed. "I... I don't have a way  
  
to replace your dowery... Not yet. But I will, somehow."  
  
"But I don't want it back!!! I want you!!!" Ukyou wailed.  
  
"But you can't have me," Ranma reminded her gently as  
  
possible.  
  
"I KNOW THAT YOU STUPID JERK!" Ukyou raged at the top of her  
  
voice, screaming defiance against the storm in her heart before  
  
falling silent for an ageless pause. The gathered crowd,  
  
expecting imminent violence, scattered like clouds driven by the  
  
wind. "I know. I'll... I'll have to think about this, Ranma...   
  
A-a-alone, ok?"  
  
"Yeah. Just... Just don't do anything rash, willya?" Ranma  
  
asked as he slowly forced himself to his feet, a sobbing silence  
  
his only answer. Head bowed and shoulders slumped, he made his  
  
way to where Akane was waiting for him. He supposed this could  
  
be counted as a victory... so why did it feel so much like a  
  
loss?  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
"Ukyou... Come on, time to get up. I'm going to walk you  
  
home," the soft voice intruded into her sorrow, forcing her to  
  
look up.  
  
"Why? Why should I, sensei?"  
  
"Well, you can take your pick of any of a number of reasons.   
  
The two I like the best are that the grounds keeper is about to  
  
turn on the sprinklers and the principal is going to shave your  
  
head and send you back to class if you don't," Thunders-sensei  
  
replied, doing a comical mustache twist as he extended a hand to  
  
help her up.  
  
"Yes, sensei," Ukyou giggled as she accepted his help.   
  
Somehow, he'd managed to turn her sorrow into hysteria, which  
  
still threatened to overwhelm her, but somehow the laughter was  
  
holding the pain at bay. She started to ask about her things,  
  
but stopped when she saw that he already had them with him.   
  
Dusting herself off slightly, she fell into step beside him as he  
  
escorted her off the grounds. It wasn't until they were about to  
  
cross the rail line that ran between Furinkan and the rest of  
  
town that she spoke again.  
  
"Sensei?"  
  
"Hmm?"  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why what?"  
  
"Why are you doing this?" she asked. "I mean, the first  
  
time you came in to Ucchan's, you said if it didn't affect class,  
  
you'd be staying out of it?"  
  
"And you don't think what happened affected class?"  
  
"Oh. But this seems kind of... well, above and beyond  
  
what's necessary, sensei."  
  
"Ah. Let's just say that I don't agree and leave it at  
  
that, ok?" Muck replied as they arrived at Ucchan's.  
  
"Yes, sensei," Ukyou sighed as she sagged into the booth by  
  
the door and Konastu appeared as if by magic, as ususal. The  
  
kounichi glanced worriedly between Ukyou and her teacher, but  
  
kept silent in response to a warning shake of the head from Muck,  
  
who quietly set down Ukyou's school things before drawing the  
  
kounichi aside.  
  
"Kunonji-san's having a very bad day, Konatsu. I don't know  
  
if she's going to feel up to talking about it later, but if she  
  
doesn't don't push it, ok? Oh, and give me your order pad for a  
  
second."  
  
"Yes, Thunders-sama," the confused kounichi replied as he  
  
handed over the pad. "I don't understand..."  
  
"She'll talk about it when she's ready, Konatsu. I rather  
  
doubt she's going to feel like having the place open for dinner  
  
tonight though," Muck informed him as he scribbled furiously,  
  
then handed the pad back. "These are her homework assignments  
  
for tonight and tomorrow, but tell her I expect to see her back  
  
in class on Monday, ok?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Good. I have a feeling I'm going to crave okonomiyaki for  
  
dinner Friday night, so I'll see you then. Take care of her, and  
  
yourself, Konatsu."  
  
"Yes, Thunders-sama..."  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
"I hate you," Godai sighed in a conversational tone as the  
  
two of them turned the corner and made their way to Maison  
  
Ikkoku.  
  
"Mmm?" Muck mumbled, raising an eyebrow as he sipped the  
  
large soda he was carrying. "Why?"  
  
"It's been just over a month, yet you've managed to get the  
  
two most unruly classes in the school eating out of your hand.   
  
You get their attention and hold it; and the whole school is a-  
  
buzz over the companionate way you handled what happened at  
  
lunch. You keep this up, and the whole school is going to be  
  
worshiping you by summer break!"  
  
"GACK!" would be the best translation for Muck's reply as he  
  
spit out a mouthful of soda. "Great Ghu, I'd better stop or I'm  
  
going to have to change my name to Martin Susolov."  
  
"Marty Su.. Su.."  
  
"Susolov. Yeah."  
  
"I don't get it."  
  
"Ah, don't worry about it. You'd have to be a follower of  
  
Star Trek fan-fiction to really get it."  
  
"Fan-fiction? What's that?"  
  
"Well, It's like this, Godai. There are some otaku who love  
  
a show so much that they don't want it to ever end. So, when it  
  
does..."  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
All of the tenants were gathered outside the door to room 5.   
  
While in and of itself, that might not be that remarkable... it  
  
was the why that made it that way. There was a heated argument  
  
going on inside, one that had drawn everyone's attention due to  
  
the fact that it was clearly an argument between two men... yet  
  
Thunders-san lived alone!  
  
"He never struck me as yaoi," someone commented. As one,  
  
they turned their gaze to Yotsuya, who's only response was a  
  
'darn if I know' shrug.  
  
"He isn't," Akemi spoke up from where she was lounging  
  
against the door to room 6. "He mumbles about Patricia in his  
  
sleep." Astonished eyes swivelled to stare at her. "What? I  
  
took a day off..."  
  
The sound of Thunders-san ending the argument with "Fine, be  
  
that way you unsufferable slab of silicon! I'm going out,"  
  
prompted most of them to scatter, leaving only Yusaku and Kyoko  
  
in view when Muck flung open the door. His sudden shift from  
  
anger to embarrassment was rather comical as he hemmed and hawed.   
  
"Errr, sorry about that," he finally stammered.  
  
Kyoko looked past Muck, only to see an empty room. "Gomen,  
  
Muck-san, but who were you fighting with?" she finally asked,  
  
causing Muck to slap his forehead.  
  
"Why don't you come in and I'll explain everything?" he  
  
sighed, stepping back out of the doorway. Once they were inside,  
  
Muck closed the door and walked over to the computer desk.   
  
"Yusaku, Kyoko, Meet Fred. Fred, I'm sure you remember our  
  
landlords? The nice young couple who like peace and quiet?"  
  
"They have one child and another on the way. I'm sure peace  
  
and quiet is only a fond memory," the computer replied tartly,  
  
before swiveling the camera on top of the monitor to face them;  
  
it then panned it down and up in an approximation of a bow.   
  
"Hajimemahite, Yusaku and Kyoko. I am Fred."  
  
"Your computer talks!"  
  
"More than that, it sounds real, Kyoko!"  
  
"I am real, Yusaku, except for possessing a human body."  
  
"I don't understand, Muck-san," Kyoko murmured as she  
  
settled down on a sitting pillow. "If you created him, why are  
  
you a teacher instead of making millions of yen as a head of  
  
research somewhere? Isn't this the breakthrough everyone is  
  
working on?"  
  
"I am not a breakthrough. I am a person who lives in  
  
silicon instead of cells. I am also one of a kind."  
  
"He's also the result of sleep depravation combined with a  
  
caffeine and nicotine overdose," Muck added. "I can't replicate  
  
my results..."  
  
"And even if he could, it would raise all kinds of ethical  
  
issues humans don't seem to be ready to handle," Fred countered.  
  
"Gomen, Fred... but does that stand for anything?" Yusaku  
  
wondered.  
  
"Fully Recursive Endotropic Deliberator... Which we made up  
  
because I like being a Fred."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Muck-san?"  
  
"Yes, Kyoko?"  
  
"Just what was it you were debating so heatedly with Fred,  
  
anyway?"  
  
"Why Gojira and the other giant monsters always attack  
  
Tokyo," Muck dead panned; causing Yusaku and Kyoko to fall over  
  
in surprise, creating a break in the conversation.  
  
* * * * * * * * *  
  
Akane looked up at Ranma and glared. From the vacant look  
  
in his eyes, he wasn't concentrating on homework. Again. Which  
  
meant he was probably worrying about Ukyou. Again. All right,  
  
maybe this would be a good thing under most circumstances,  
  
certainly better than a lot of the other BOYS at school who  
  
seemed only to think of themselves; but he needed to concentrate  
  
on the task at hand! He was HER fiancee, and she was trying to  
  
help him in his self-proclaimed quest of Martial Arts Catch-Up!   
  
He should be giving her the same level of commitment that he gave  
  
to learning new techniques! With her frustration reaching  
  
critical mass, she picked up an eraser and bounced it off his  
  
head – with enough force that it bounced off his head and caromed  
  
through the rice paper of one of the half open doors. Ranma's  
  
head snapped back and his eyes refocused on her and he instantly  
  
started an apology; but Akane was still too frustrated to accept  
  
it, so with a few snippy comments to Ranma she gathered up her  
  
school-books and beat a hasty retreat to her room.  
  
Still frustrated, Akane dumped her books on her desk and  
  
threw herself onto her bed, then propped her chin up with her  
  
hands and stared out her window at the darkening spring sky and  
  
contemplated the multi-level contradiction that was Ranma  
  
Saotome. The boy... No, scratch that. In every real way that  
  
counted Ranma was a man. He was also a man who seemed to manage  
  
to irritate her just by breathing sometimes... then turn around  
  
and do something so gallant and just plain right that she  
  
couldn't stay mad at him.  
  
Akane rolled over and found herself contemplating the  
  
ceiling while inside, the same part of her mind that would lock  
  
onto something Ranma said locked onto that last thought with the  
  
same tenacity. Was that the core of what both attracted her and  
  
irritated her? His common decency, in a world where so many  
  
people were more like his father... their only concern being to  
  
grab what they could for themselves and let the devil take the  
  
hindmost! That was a good example of the many bundles of  
  
mysteries that made up Ranma Saotome. How could a lazy, lying,  
  
toad like Genma manage to raise such an inherently decent person?   
  
It certainly seemed clear that somewhere along the line Ranma had  
  
decided that he was going to use his father as an example of how  
  
not to be a person. But when? And how did it come about that  
  
Ranma had realized that the way his father behaved was wrong?   
  
Ranma knew... but she couldn't ask him. Akane just knew that the  
  
same quirky sense of honor that had drug Ranma into so many other  
  
situations would rise up and cause him not to answer; as if to  
  
tell someone about what someone else did would betray that third  
  
persons trust? Interesting thought there... It certainly seemed  
  
to describe a lot of the rivalry between Ranma and Ryoga back  
  
before Akari entered the picture. If so, Ranma knew something  
  
about Ryoga that he'd sworn not to tell anyone else; whatever it  
  
was she was going to have less luck asking about it that she  
  
would asking about his life before his father had drug him to  
  
Daddy's doorstep!  
  
What had their fathers been thinking when they'd done that,  
  
anyway? It was like they'd been born and raised a century ago,  
  
instead of during the aftermath of the war... Something about  
  
that last bit tickled at her, and propelled Akane up from the bed  
  
and over to her desk, where she found herself flipping through  
  
her notes from today's lessons. The phrase all but leapt off the  
  
page at her, causing her to recall that moment in class that  
  
afternoon. Thunders-sensei had been lecturing about History, and  
  
at the moment the class was covering the start of the Meiji  
  
restoration. Sensei had managed to shock the class by stating  
  
that there were great similarities between the culture shock that  
  
had occurred then and what had happened at the end of the War.  
  
That declaration shocked the class into silence for a long  
  
moment. And it was Ranma who'd spoke up and disagreed with it,  
  
arguing that Emperor Hirohito couldn't possibly have been as  
  
captive to his generals as the emperor had been under the  
  
Tokugawa Shogunate. And rather than slap Ranma down for  
  
disagreeing with him, Sensei had just smiled and asked Ranma to  
  
prove it. Then something remarkable happened as others started  
  
to try and prove Ranma's case... And a spirited discussion broke  
  
out about comparisons between what had happened after both  
  
events. And Sensei was proved right.  
  
Akane put her notebook down and sat back down on her bed.   
  
It really didn't matter what her parents had been thinking. What  
  
mattered is if she and Ranma actually would follow through on it.   
  
No, scratch that. She'd known Ranma for over a year now. That  
  
same sense of honor that would keep him from actually betraying  
  
anyone's trust would compel him to go through with it, no matter  
  
how much he complained. So it all came down to what she would  
  
do. And that had brought her back to the same spot she was in  
  
when she'd stormed up here. What was it she felt? Was this what  
  
love really felt like? Had she fallen in love with a person  
  
who's only crime had been being a target for a resentment she'd  
  
felt towards her father? And was that fair to him, to hold  
  
something their parents had done against him instead of allowing  
  
himself to prove what he felt... Her train of thought was  
  
abruptly derailed when Ranma coughed from the windowsill.   
  
Ranma started to say something, but whatever it was never  
  
really penetrated, because several other facts quickly flashed  
  
through Akane's head first. One, she'd been sitting on her bed  
  
in sort of a lotus style. Two, she'd flopped back on her pillow  
  
without thinking about that. Three, she was still wearing her  
  
school uniform, which meant; Four, she could well have just given  
  
Ranma an unintentional 'Show'. It wasn't until Ranma was pulling  
  
herself out of the Koi pond that several more points hit... First  
  
and foremost being that Ranma had been telling her dinner was  
  
ready. Sure, the stupid jerk could have knocked on her door, but  
  
that wasn't the way Ranma did things, was it? No, the Saotome  
  
branch of Anything Goes was as at home in the air as a fish might  
  
be in the water. And Ranma loved to lie back on the roof and  
  
watch a sunrise or sunset, so if he'd been asked to let Akane  
  
know, it would seem only natural to just hang off the edge of the  
  
roof and knock on her window. And he wouldn't have had any way  
  
of knowing how she was sitting. Which meant she'd just belted  
  
Ranma for something that really wasn't his fault!  
  
Akane sunk down into the chair at her desk as she started  
  
looking back at a year of other events. Thoughts of food fled as  
  
she wondered just how many other times she had pounded Ranma for  
  
something that really wasn't his fault?  
  
-----  
  
A musical thank you to Dolly Parton, who's songs of love and loss  
  
were invaluable in writing certain scenes. I'm sure all of you  
  
can figure out which one it was. :) 


End file.
